Day 687 Im sorry to my babies

14 12 2014

Another amazing volunteering experience today for Rock Bottom Outreach. We served meals at Beautiful Feet Ministries. It’s a homeless ministry. We served 237 meals at breakfast and 181 at dinner. It’s so good to help and the appreciation that the people showed us. We cooked over 20 dozen eggs today so I’m not really hungry for eggs for a long time.

I’m sorry is something as parents that we are not good at telling our kids. It a crucial part of being a successful parent. There is no manual to parenting. We usually learn from our parents which can be both good and bad. Just because were a parent and we say so doesn’t mean were not wrong. We have to let our kids know its okay to make mistakes and we blow. Once we do we cannot be so prideful and not let our kids know we blew it. No take it being a single parent.

If you have never been a single parent I hope it never happens to you. Also please don’t tell someone you understand because you have a friend or family member that is a single parent. I did that in my past life and its in the moments that you don’t see is when you don’t understand being a single parent. It’s those moments we have to apologise for. Don’t say your sorry for the other parent either. It’s not your job if the other parent did something that’s their burden let them handle it. Here is what I have and will to say Im sorry for.

To my babies: I’m sorry for the divorce and you know that but Im sorry that you have two homes, Im sorry you cant have your stuff in one place, that your friends parents who are married  don’t understand what its like to be divorced, that you have a harder time because I’m a single dad having your friends spend the night with me than your mom. People just think differently when you a dad than single when you a mom. Im sorry that were in an apartment still but we will have a house soon. I’m sorry I cant cook as good as your mom, the crock-pot is our friend. Im  sorry I don’t understand girl stuff but I try, I don’t understand makeup but I know you aren’t wearing a lot, I don’t understand bras, panties but I know you’re wearing them,  the clothes I pick for you, the times I remind you about deodorant and how you need to carry yourself I’m only sorry I tell you so many times but its only because I know whats best for you. I hug you both all the time and tell I love you 100 times a day and I’m sorry that I don’t tell you 150 times a day. I’m sorry I lost my temper when you dropped your cup of water on the carpet because it didn’t mean anything. I’m sorry I seem overwhelmed at times, I struggle to know Im a great daddy and when I feel Im not you can see it in my face. When we are about to walk out the door in the morning for school and you still have toothpaste on your face and your breakfast on your shirt I have to sound frustrated and you ask why its such a big deal. Im sorry after I thought I explained something so well and you tell you don’t understand I get upset. Im sorry I don’t have someone to share my life with and I cant explain it but I don’t want to have to say Im sorry if I screw it up again. I tell you Im sorry because I want you to know how much I love you and I would die for both of you at any time. Im sorry for the mistakes I make but not the effort because you have no idea how important it is to me to be the best daddy for you both. I hope your see it and know that your both mean the world to me and I will never be sorry for that.

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