Day 660 This realization hit me like a brick today

18 11 2014

If you have friends that are single during the holidays reach out to them. This is a tough season on anybody but single people get alienated in society this time of year. I promise just do it please its needed.

Got a an email yesterday about a guy in my men’s group. Brad was trying to make a fire in his home – at some point poured gasoline on a smoldering log, and it flashed, catching him on fire.  He ran outside and pulled his shirt off, dropped and rolled, then ran back inside to put fire out in-house.  He is in Parkland with 2nd and 3rd degree burns from waste up. (His face didn’t look too bad in pic, mostly side of face and ears I think. I went to see him and I hate hospitals, nothing good happens there but I needed to go to let him know he was loved and not by himself. They were doing a skin peel when I got there which is something I hope to never see again. I talked to his wife and her mind was everywhere, she was handling so much and doing an amazing job. I just kind of watched him  sleep and said a few prayers. He eventually woke up and  he was doing rather well considering what he had gone through. He made a few points to his wife about things that needed to be done which she had already done them and then listed off a few more she already taken care of. Then my being uncomfortable and seeing someone I cared about being burned up got to me and I left. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

If something happened to me I’m alone and I have nobody to take care of me. Sure people would come by and do things but I’m talking about caring for my every need until I can again. I’m a stubborn ahole so I would try my best to not let people help me but there comes a time and place where somebody has to help. I watched my mom take care of my dads every need and I mean every need and want. She lived her vows like God asked us to so I’ve seen it and know what it’s about. I had a long walk to my  car and I thought i have never thought about it but I’m alone and I would just be sitting in a room waiting for a nurse to take care of me. The realization made me so sad. I wasn’t afraid of it but its something that you don’t want to think about, but could happen. I know there’s nothing I can do about it, well I guess I could but you know what I mean. I know that I was in love once and would have done anything for her. I hope this time I find someone who would do that for me because I would for them. Just knowing if it’s now or when were 80 to know that one person would do anything for you no matter what the circumstance stance is a very peaceful feeling. If you have that someone be thankful, it’s always easy to find all their faults but when you need them to live the vows there may not be anything more rewarding in life.

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