Day 654 This guy really disgusted me

11 11 2014

Thank you Veterans. These words are not enough but I try when I see a veteran to thank them in person. Just the fact I can write this blog without persecution is just one of the many of 1000’s I can do because of you. If you have never seen Band of Brothers and what the men of the 100 1st Airborne please Watch it, Its amazing.

You meet people in your life that change you eventually. It may not matter when they came into your life but they were there for a lesson, a reminder, or just to show you how not to be. Going back  to my college days. I had some rough friends. They had good to them for sure but the side that was most shown was their nasty, angry or just down right disgusting side. Usually Thursday night in college is the night most go out because most skip on Friday or just decide that their getting ready for a great weekend early. This group of guys mostly my Rugby buddies would start drinking and having shenanigans around 9:00 by 11:00 we were all drunk and having the most fun, starting fights, or just telling stories and singing rugby songs that everyone wanted to hear. This one guy (remains anonymous) was always the center of attention, he had a commanding presence, people followed him, he told the jokes nobody would tell, he just didn’t give a crap what people thought about him. I always watched him no matter what he did, I liked him sometimes but I was stuck with him in the group so I just dealt with him. He was a jerk, depressed, a liar, disgusting, and he treated women like crap and I always thought when I saw him : if people knew him nobody would laugh at him, or listen to him. What a joke of a man. I would watch him, take women of all kinds by the hand after some words, like your so beautiful, if you had a real man like me I wold love you, give you everything, I would tell you how great you are and tell you all the things you’ve never been told and walk them to the men’s  bathroom of our Rugby bar. I knew what he did because I would go to the bathroom and listen to what he told them and them instruct them to get naked then he would have his way with them. He would buy them a beer when he was done with them. Sometimes kiss them and seriously go to the next one. Sometimes he did this three times a night. One night I stopped him when he was sitting on the curb trying not to throw up and asked him. What in the hell are you doing? Why are you doing this to these women. He looked at me and said I just want someone to love me, I want to know I’m enough, I want to be like the good-looking guys, so I feel that way for about 3 minutes and then I have to deal with what a piece of shit  I am. I patted him on the leg and said okay man. I felt so pitiful for him, I wanted to help him but had no idea what to do or say to him. So I just sat and watched him destroy himself and so many women around him and was disgusted with the man I saw everyday. Why do I tell you this today. That man was me. Thats how I lived my college days. I know its in the past thank God, I hated me and was disgusted with who I was. That is why today I tell my story so maybe just one young man will have his eyes opened and save himself and so many women from the pain and scars that I brought upon so many. Good thing I’m forgiven and I know this and I have done my best to make amends with those I effected. I stand as  a broken man of God hoping you pass this along to someone who needs to hear it and know that we can all rise from the ashes. I’m living proof.




One response

11 11 2014

Thank you for sharing such an intimate part of you. The fact that you share proves that you have made changes for the better. Thank you for being you.

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