Day 652 I want answers now

9 11 2014

Another beautiful and tiring weekend. My babies and I packed a ton of things in. We went to our first hockey game. They loved it and became very passionate especially during the two fights that went on. Like any kids when I asked them the favorite part the answers I got were the nachos and when I farted walking up the stairs.  Parenting fun always. Whenever you struggle as a parent sometimes you get the words when you need them. I was staring at a piece of paper on my desk and Morgan came by and sad Dad I know it’s harder for you because you’re a single parent but you’re doing great. All worries left me for a bit and when you think you’re struggling the most you hear it from a great place.

If you’re anything like me – or most people in the world – you like to know what’s coming next in your life. But how do you handle it when you want an answer and don’t get one? Maybe you’ve been praying for a specific answer about the next phase of your life – a move you need to make, an important decision, a romantic partner, or any type of change. Yet despite the fact that you’ve diligently sought an answer, it simply hasn’t come. It can be a frustrating place almost crippling at times.  Even though I’m closer to God than I ever have been I still struggle with time and answers. I try not to be this way but here it is: Hey God I’m going to lunch at 11 I’ll be back around 1:00 if I don’t hear from you I ll take it from here. I think I got so used to doing things wrong that even when I may hear from God I dismiss it as my stupid wants or needs and not his.I need answers on career, my love life or lack of one and what to do about that, what do I dream of or want. I had a real deep conversation last week about what do you want to do. That may frustrate me more than anything, Do you want to be a speaker, a home builder, do you want to be a business owner again, what are you going to do for God, are you going to buy or build a house, what happens if my mom gets worse, how  do I handle my soon to be teenage daughter. I know what many you will say, prayer harder (just FYI don’t tell people who its stupid, if you pray your praying the best you can or know how, telling people who is like when you get scared don’t breathe harder) just listen to God, Leave the world behind you, just go with your heart. I agree with all of that and this. When you’re not hearing God let the people who are close to you know what you’re struggling with. They may not have any answers but they may have all them. Just the fact they listen may get you where you want to be. I think we don’t hear ourselves when we speak and when we tell someone else, the answer was exactly in what we said.Usually answers come in the form of a song, a prayer, a friend that chooses not to talk but listen feed back your words to you. Just know God has never left us. I mean never. He is right there next to us in our homes, in the car, in our workplace. He’s not there to beat us over the head for doing wrong or being wrong just there to love and listen when we choose. Thanks to the people in my life that take the time out for a few little words in a text, a phone call, or a giant smash of reality when I need it. My answers are coming!

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