Day 650 Light always cancels out darkness

7 11 2014

My beautiful babies come back to me today. During the holidays or lives become so busy but I want to be so much closer to them. I get excited like its Christmas morning knowing I get them.  Chances to make memories and we will again this weekend. This is a big football weekend for my teams. TCU and Notre Dame bring it home. If you don’t like those teams build a bridge it will be okay.

I have been to some of the darkest places in human life and became comfortable in them. Not because of want but because I had no other idea where to go with them. Darkness is scary: if its animals, snakes, spiders, cancer, facing our fears, ourselves, parents, having to make tough decisions, or letting go of something you never wanted to. I lived the majority of my life in darkness and dragged others down with me. I have a powerful personality and can and could you use it for good or bad. I brought others down to my level in life not out of deliberate bad but it’s who I was. I was in a very dark place trying to push away the light. Here is a great quote:  “Evil cannot and will not be vanquished by evil. Dark will only swallow dark and deepen. The good and the light are the keenest weapons.”
Nora Roberts, Heaven and Earth. The good and the light are weapons Weapons can be good too.

Have had  a few friends that are following the light again in life and it makes so happy as I told them I still still go dark sometimes but I have some of the most amazing people in my life that lift me just in the moment I need it. Without people that will hold you accountable darkness wins. It allows me to continue to try to be good and be the light with them. Last night I was on an internet radio and got to speak about my testimony and the things done wrong and learned from. My treatment of women was not good but I always said well they could say no. I hurt a lot of women because of my selfish needs I dragged them down to my darkness because it’s what I knew. I got three times last night how did you get on radio and say what you did. Because I am the light now. It is so hard when so many want to bring you to their level but Im strong and I believe that this is what God wants from me. In the same way I was darkness I can be light. When I seem to be slipping I have people who prop me up or slap the crap out of me and wake me up.  When you’re in the woods and its so dark and you hear every sound then the flashlight comes on. I’m the flashlight yes bigger than most flashlights but I choose to be the light.

Light always cancels out darkness. Be a light or be just one persons light. They need it but so do you. “The light in your soul is far greater than the darkness. Shine your light.”
Lailah Gifty Akita

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