Day 597 What is wrong with you really?

14 09 2014

We did it we completed the busiest weekend ever. From Friday night dance, Saturday flag football game, TCU Football game, birthday shopping, and a Chuck E Cheese birthday we packed a little bit of living in. My kids had a great weekend but my daughter was so tired she fell asleep on the toilet tonight.

What is wrong with you? I ve asked that many times after my first 6 months of divorce and learning what I did about relationships. I can tell you 10 people on Facebook right now that hop from relationship to relationship and yes even marriage to marriage since I ve been divorced. I used to hate being alone and I did that in my 20’s . I was married for 14 and I promise that’s the first thing I wanted to do is find someone to “complete me” (That makes me want to vomit when I hear it). People enhance your life they damn sure can’t complete you when they barley can complete themselves. When we rely on the opposite sex to fulfill our life we will search the rest of our life trying to find “whatever it is we are looking for”. IF WE ARE NOT HAPPY WITH US, WE WILL NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER BE HAPPY WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX. The reason we fail at relationships is for many reasons but the reason we continue to hop to one after another is for many reasons: hurt, or insecure, or very vulnerable, they have  the need of being in a relationship so they can lick the wounds they were dealt, Some people cannot stand to be alone and must have the intimate bond of a relationship. That intimacy is usually more important than choosing the right person, By changing people, they develop new feelings for them, and since there’s only room for so much the old exit, you love to rebound, you think you need sex, you’re a cheater, you love to pass the pain, You love the abuse, emotional, physical or mental. So how do you fix it. If you don’t fix it you will ALWAYS wind up in the same relationship, different name and face but the outcome is always the same. Try me and argue with me and I can show you that you have been dating the same person or married to the same person and we attract whats comfortable. Not whats right.

You see after 2.5 year of counseling I know this is what I’m normally attracted to and I promise one of my friends pointed out that there could be 50,000 great women in Cowboys stadium and you would find that one. She needs to be rescued, shes tall, darker hair, mean, bigger boobs, fake,  bitchy and hollow and will never be truthful.. Every time we go out I have to ask my friends is she mean and bitchy and I always pick her. I could date her but I don’t even ask. It’s comfortable to me and I have been dating that person since I was 15. Not all, but if they were good I pushed them out the door like a bad dog.

How do you stop it. Stop telling people the following, you’re judging me, you have never walked in my shoes, you don’t know me. We are not some mythical creature from a book. Most people are the same. We can sit back and watch your world crumble around you and know whats causing it and you would never know because your to busy telling everyone how wrong they are. We all need help and counseling. We don’t know everything and we cant. We know how to fail at relationship but don’t know how to succeed. I PROMISE ITS NOT ALWAYS THE OTHER PERSONS FAULT. If we have failed at many relationship guess who the common denominator is.

For me I may have gone to far and now I don’t have anyone in my life because I’m to picky. I would rather be safe than sorry. I made a promise to myself to never purposely hurt another woman. I know whats wrong me which is a lot and why would I bring someone into my life that I knowingly know will not work. It’s just stupid and I don’t want to bring tears to another woman’s eyes. I know it takes two but I’m only responsible for me so If I can save “her” from me I will. I don’t need the blind the blind leading the blind anymore.

So now go ahead and attack me and tell you’re a  know it all, and you think your right about this. I was a world-class relationship failure so yeah I made it a goal to change it. If you haven’t even tried to learn leave your crap and hot air at the door. It’s not even worth it. I know everyone has an opinion but that doesn’t mean it needs to be heard. Your reading my blog that I’m not writing about you so if it touches a nerve look in the mirror and you’ll find all the answers you need to right there.


PS I know my grammar and writing style sucks sometimes. I don’t care but I appreciate the feedback. If I go back and correct it Ill change what I wrote. So I’m uncut and unprotected.

Matthew Winters (Honest Thoughts from a Pastor)

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