Day 590 Never be the same

7 09 2014

Since I have been divorced I got sick for the first time. I had strep throat and a sinus infection. I can’t remember feeling that bad in years. The worst part is there is nobody to do anything for you. I really missed having someone take care of me. I usually hate people taking care of me but this weekend was different. It’s the small things you don’t appreciate until gone.

I heard a great message today and as usual I interpret the way I hear it and wanted to bring my thoughts on it here.  Pain makes us selfish: Doesn’t matter what kind, physical, mental, emotional etc.. When we are in pain nothing else around us matters we just have to get it to go away. When we are in pain and make it about us we are losing. Strength is for service and not for self. When we stop giving or turn to our selfish ways everyone around is losing too.

We always think our challenges are harder, hurdles are higher, that are we unique in our pain and that’s just not true. Everyone one of us has experienced some kind of hell. Mine is no worse than yours but because its mine I think mine is worse. We are all just a different face and name but with the same pain. Solomon says in the bible that there is nothing new under the sun.  Which means that there is nothing new when it comes to pain. Jesus has seen it all, but we want to tell people and try to one up their crap/ pain because if we can get the most pity pain points we win some game. You are always losing if you are trying to win for you.

When I became so desperate and hungry to get to end of myself I was never the same. I lived my life trying to do the following: step on you to get to the top, make you feel bad about yourself so I could step over you, make more money, (because it fixes everything), let you feel sorry for me so then I could use your feelings and crush you. If I belittled you then you would be on my level, I was jealous and never lifted up, I would play on your emotions to get on my side, I would always tell you what you needed to here so I can go to my final outcome. I always thought I was strong but I might have been one of the weakest around because I did everything to benefit me. When I finally got to the end of me then God stepped in because I let him. I sometimes feel I’m at the top of the mountain of life because I was at the bottom of it for so long. You see though I did nothing that was God. It doesn’t mean everything is fixed in my life but it does mean he redeemed me and brought me back to life.

When I speak or write this blog, or post something positive on Facebook. It’s not about me. I get mocked or made fun of but I remember I was there before and did the same thing.  I do everything in my life for others. My service in life is not for Tyler Wood because I crashed that plane a long time ago. Healed people help people. Most people don’t have a voice or are too afraid to use their voice. Anybody can do it we are all qualified. I was one of those people who people would say that’s just who he is. ( That to me is the biggest slap in the face) That means you will never change. Ask anyone that knew me and I was that guy, he’ll never change or that’s just who he is. Now I do everything for others. Why? because if I’ll stand in your dirty tub of water at your worst then one day you will for someone else.

I never want to be the same. If that means people make fun of me or call me names, say I think I’m better than them. All that means is that I’m doing something right. If someone isn’t pissed at you then you’re not making a difference.  People only get upset with others because the feelings they have or thoughts are actually what they feel about themselves and just can’t deal with it. So start doing service for others and your life will change, it will never be easy but it will always be worth it. Your are someones voice and they need you but there waiting on YOU!

Matthew Winters (Honest Thoughts from a Pastor)

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