Day 561 Please save me Robin Williams

12 08 2014

I guess you could say I did have mental illness and a fellow struggler and one of my favorite actors of all time died yesterday by taking his life. Called suicide. The most grossly understood of all diseases and draws more reaction and so-called “experts” when it happens. I never get the request to blog but today I was sent a request and some information about suicide so here I go trying to give my thoughts on it. Robin Williams had everything that society says you need to have to have a good life, but it didn’t matter. WE ARE ALL THE SAME no matter what you want to think. Robin Williams is proof that you have it but you can’t buy your way out of a disease. He made millions of people laugh, cry, at peace and think they were okay. Today we sit here and he couldn’t find any of those things for himself.  Nanu Nanu

3.5 years ago I was ready to take my life. Nothing made sense and the pain pf my life was too much. I knew no other way. Sure it was selfish to think that way but when your there your think you’re doing people a favor. How dare someone who has never struggled with it beat down someone who has. You do many selfish things as well but you do them out of your own selfish ways not because you think you’re doing people a favor. Suicide is not a choice you make, but rather a choice that happens onto when your pain was greater than your ability to cope. I was lucky and I have no idea why or what caused me not to do the act, but I’m thankful today I didn’t. I can still feel that day of pain and everything leading up to it and I bet there is not one of you that would want to take that from me because its too much!

Suicide is not a weak decision. It is a decision that takes an incredible amount of strength to make, actually. Someone isn’t weak if they end their life. They are desperate. There is a difference. It’s okay to feel angry at the person for dying. It’s okay to question, to rail against the forces that caused this. But it isn’t weakness. Mental illness isn’t weakness. It’s a disease, a pervasive, sometimes awful disease. The person doesn’t deserve anger and skepticism forever. They deserve compassion. Their family deserves compassion.

Ending a life is incredibly, incredibly tragic. It represents a lost battle with mental illness. In that, it is no different from cancer, or diabetes, or a heart attack. Where it is different is that suicide is a choice. Whether it is the right or wrong choice for that person is solely the business of that person who commits suicide. But for the family left behind, it is devastating.

Don’t rail against Robin Williams, or anyone else, for committing suicide (if indeed, that is the cause of his death). Instead, reach out. Let people know you’re there for them. Find a crisis line in your area to call if you are feeling desperate and like you want to do something you can’t take back. Support the family and friends left behind in the best way you can. Let the people you love know that you love them and that you are thinking about them. Let them know that they are not alone. (Not sure where these came from but it was sent to me to write about).

If you know of someone who is struggling and you do nothing its a hell of a burden to carry. Isolation is a killer and yes its devastating but don’t try to  understand their pain just know its real and do whatever you can to get them help.

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4 responses

12 08 2014
triciamoore78

Thank you for sharing your struggles and for writing this blog. It was spot on and you never know who will read it and seek help. Thanks for being a light in the dark.

19 08 2014
Little Miss Menopause

Count me as someone who (though I cannot say I felt your exact type of pain) has been there a few times in my life, the first at age 16, when I was hospitalized for the attempt that failed. The other two times, on the brink. This is extremely well-written, poignant, and spot-on correct advice and you really spoke to me this morning the way I needed to hear. Thank you.
Stephanie

20 08 2014
tywood12

Your welcome. I know we all struggle I’m just glad we’re both here to share our struggle. Have a great day.

8 09 2014
a.h.richards

Well said, Tyler. As someone who has lived with major depressive disorder for over forty years (thirty of those not even knowing what my ‘problem’ was) I applaud you for speaking truth. I think the most important point you make, to those who know someone with depression is to not try to understand but just to love and help. That’s the essential, fundamental thing needed. Isolation goes hand in hand with depression, and compounds it – and without human support at critical moments… well, suicide is often the end choice. Thank you for sharing your insights.

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