Day 548 A time for the walls to come down dammit

30 07 2014

Why can’t people learn that words are worth nothing with action. Either show up or shut up. I know to many people who tell you exactly what you want to hear. Then you need them and they can never answer the bell. People want help, they want someone to lean on but they don’t want to be let down again, so they stay silent. I hate this more than anything.

So what I said above there is either a time to build walls or tear them down. Walls are necessary for a time to get you through whatever life has for you in this season. Even strong people need walls. They need people to lean on. Only the strong survive but not by yourself. I finished my workout yesterday and laid down face first on the floor and thought what happens when I need someone.. When I want to run away where is that person. I have one person and sometimes you can’t always go to that well. I’ve built up a few walls and I think they are necessary but I have to tear them down. You can’t tear down when all people want to do is beat you with a bat (not really) Im fragile in a few ways now and I need a few people to say their sorry so I can move on. They won’t so I pray and ask God to help with it. While Im listening and waiting do you know how many people in life want you to fail. How they want you take a face first fall onto the concrete. Then stand in front of and tell  you that there sorry that happened but really their happy. I can believe the hate, hurt , anger, holding onto the past in people and have been there but Good God please help them. I couldn’t sleep last night! I tried and I prayed but to no avail.  I know a lot comes from my loneliness but also the walls that people I love or want to love carry is stupefying.

Let it go, your ex spouse, your ex boyfriend,  your parents, your job, or just life in general. Stop putting people on a pedestal. I promise every damn time you do they will fail you. When someone starts tearing down their walls and starts rebuilding their life, stop going back to the person you remember because that person left yesterday. If that makes you comfortable to tear down others go crawl under a rock until God speaks to you or you learn to just shut up.

Okay I feel better now off to counseling!!

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