Day 545 I’m a christian but

27 07 2014

I usually fill my schedule full when I don’t have my babies. It keeps me front being lonely but also I try to experience life in a different light than when I have my kids. This weekend I kept to myself more than most. I did get out for a bit on Friday and Saturday and saw a great band and caught up with a friend I hadn’t seen in 20 years. He reminded me which I forgot that he paid me a quarter in 6th grade to be his body-guard. How cheap was I? It was a blast and the band was greatness.

When you post or blog things people get an idea of who you are. Or who they think you are. I understand that and even when I’m judged I understand. Last night I was sitting in the tour bus of the band and Im not even sure how it was brought up but she said to me you’re a big Christian guy so I didn’t know you would do that. I kind of got quite and thought what do people really think of me. A really big Christian guy yes physically Im big but Im no different.  Im a christian but the furthest thing from perfect.  If you know me and I would say about 4 people who know me in and out you would know, that I drink a little, cuss, get angry, tell the jokes that people get uncomfortable with, my mind races sexually more than others, and if you have seen me play rugby you know by watching that you would say that guy needs Jesus.  Christians are not perfect (God didn’t make us that way) but what I have done is I’M TRYING to live my life and do whatever I can to be better every day. Some days I fail, some days I’m bitter about my divorce and my family destroyed, my selfish wants and needs to be met, how I want to punch the guy out that cut me off in traffic, I hate being lonely, and I curse God to and ask him why aren’t you listening to me.

What is different about me is that Im honest and try to give back in any way I can. You see my pictures or my posts about what good Im doing and maybe I should take my pictures of my bad so I can prove that yes Im a big Christian but Im littered  with sin like the rest. I tell my story to help others because mostly everyone has or will go through what I have in some way. Never put me on a pedestal or think that guy is so much better because I will let you down, but when I do I will be honest and tell you at least what I did wrong and how Im trying to correct. Thats what makes me different not better.

Im sorry that Christians make you think that we are perfect or not doing anything wrong. We are the worst  and sometimes the biggest hypocrites but as long as we are trying to overcome us then we are doing what God wants us to do. So I hope you liked this blog dammit. I know I’ll work on that.

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