Day 476 Mirror Mirror on your wall

20 05 2014

Sometimes writing just helps. I used to vocalize everything and most times it was in a punishing way.  I used to hate writing because I wasn’t interested in the topic but now the topic can be whatever or wherever my heart and mind desire. I know 3 people who have started blogging because I blog. That’s a heck of a compliment. They don’t have to blog like me but just the fact they can find themselves and express themselves  can be life changing.

Mirror Mirror on the wall who has no damn idea at all. That would be most of us. When you look at the mirror in the mornings whats the first thing you tell yourself.  Is it good and if its good are you doing so you feel like your covering up your true feelings about yourself. In the past 3 weeks I’ve had 3 people ask me about suicide. Not because they wanted my thoughts but they were calling out for a desperate plea to know if they were okay. I wanted to know what they thought about themselves and it is what most have or haven’t thought about themselves. This hurts too much, I’m ugly, I’m not worthy, he/she didn’t love me, nothing I do is right, God’s not listening to me, I don’t matter to anyone, my past won’t leave me.   The problem is we all have a disability and that is us. Many days I believe it would be better to blind so we couldn’t see ourselves.  We then compare ourselves to that supposed person that has it together. That person who is trying so hard to show you how they have it all together is the one dying the most. We still take that and go home and look in the mirror and wonder why I can’t be like them.

I can’t stop the pain. I can’t change anyone if they don’t want to change. I would tell you to throw all your mirrors away but you won’t. So tomorrow morning wake-up and walk to your mirror and just say I look good today, Im worthy, I matter. Anything that will help you see the great in you. GOD DIDN”T MAKE MISTAKES. It doesn’t matter what you have done, it’s never to late to start over, or see yourself in a way you haven’t. Sometimes  its the people in our life that can help us through this journey, pick wisely and keep the ones close that help make you better. Those reading this that know me. I know take my own advice and I’m trying!

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