Day 360 I was lost and what I found

6 01 2014

I had a great weekend! My babies are back with me, my mom and nephew were up, I had to take care of a few problems last night but got to one of my goods friends bands play, and hang with some of my friends. Church was amazing and the series we are starting brought me to a few tears this morning as well. Thank you Amy Hernandez for posting this video which helped focus me some. I can watch motivational things and some days they work and some not but this peaked my interest.

More than anything to me the last two years has taught me so much and I forget so much of it! The new Year is a time to reflect and remember all of it. I follow a great blog

Lessons From the End of a Marriage

She has been divorced for 4 years and she did something called lost and found and I thought is it was so great so I’m using it to.

Lost: My little boy- I had to leave behind the things that little boys do. Blame, excuses, and wanting to take my ball and  run away when I didn’t get what I wanted. We all want to do it but it leaves us nothing more than just holding out our hands and asking why me!

Found, Patience, my why, and me: I was never patient and its a work in progress, but I think things through and rely on experience and guidance from others.. My why in life became my children. Not that generic crap but it’s why if I don’t change they wind up just like I did. I found me. I actually realized I was okay, funny, half way good  looking, a great catch for someone and someone who others can look up to. 38 years and I finally figured that out.

Lost: Others approval. I wanted everyone to like me and I had a hard time when someone didn’t. I would lay awake at night and see how can I fix it. I didn’t like myself and I think others saw or felt it so they went along with it.

Found: Others approval. I want you to like me and if you don’t I’m sorry. There are some people who will never like me or you! They hate themselves but that’s okay too. I don’t need your approval. I will be my very best for me and in turn it should be good enough for you. If you approve oe me great but if not Im still going to sleep. I love you still but lets build a bridge and get over it.

Lost: Love is real It is real but what I thought it was is a joke! I remember my list of what of  wanted when I was 22 and I still have it. that list is what lead me to my failure in marriage. When you don’t know you don’t know. Hollywood does a great job of painting a perfect picture but it’s never perfect.

Found: What I need in love!!!!!Even though I don’t have it you I promise I will not sacrifice what I believe what true love is and what I need. We are all not meant to be together. There are some things that just don’t go with our personality. Guess what that’s okay! Doesn’t make you or me a bad person but we don’t have to be together or married. I never knew how much loyalty could mean in a relationship! Someone that will be there for you no matter what and when it gets hard doesn’t turn to the next man or women to fill a void that you’re not strong enough to do your-self. Finally in this If you’re looking for me to make you feel great about yourself, I can’t be with you. I m going to fail you and then when I do you go somewhere else. We are responsible for our own happiness and the other person is just there to enhance it.

This is just my short list but it’s what I have been reflecting on. Now go do yours lol!

 

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