Day 293 Kill or be killed

31 10 2013

Almost Halloween and I like Candy! I’m a fan of Kit Kat, Candy corn and The Candy Pumpkin! Also I’m sure if your old school you remember when we used to get the popcorn balls. That was greatness! Now you can’t give away popcorn balls because we all poison candy or whatever the news says we dd.For the second year in a row we made pumpkin seeds which are great just make sure you boil them first or they are horrible. I found out the first year.

Met a man yesterday at a construction site and sometimes either you have a pull to talk to someone or they feel they need to talk to you! Lucky for me he wanted to talk to me. We talked about the construction project and then he asked for me to tell him my story!  Not sure why besides the fact i looked tired. I explained my childhood, dad, marriage, kids, and hardships very condensed version and the first thing he said to me was overcome! He wanted to ask me questions but I asked for his story first! He explained divorce, the death of his son at 27, his two daughters and his new wife which her ex-husband killed their two sons and himself in front of her.  I was taken back and really started wanting to know why all of this crap happens. He then pulls out his bible. (This is very rare in the construction world I have seen more porn mags than bibles) and turns to revelations.  He has it highlighted and underlined the word overcome. It’s there 3 times and then looks at me and said besides, faith, hope and love God wants us to overcome! In my head I was like duh I know that, but then he said you know like the times you wanted to kill yourself. He probably thought I was looking at him like I saw a ghost, or when you thought about giving up your kids and moving away? (Again my Ghost face) or the time you business went away and your whole entire worth as a person was gone! I know you wanted to quit but you overcame.

This guy is probably 60 and that’s what I love about wisdom and older age. You know before you ask because all of our lives are very similar. He explained how he wanted to kill himself, his lack of worth and just being fed up with being a shitty man! He said the first part of overcoming is trying to stop understanding the unexplainable. Surround yourself with people that are good for your life, and finally count your blessings, rather than your loses. He said if you do the opposite of those your killing yourself or your going to be killed by someone else. Not in a physical way but once we give someone else the power typically that person is there to kill our soul! I needed to hear this man yesterday! I sat there think about all of my oh why me! Then I heard what I needed to hear!

If you know me I started the world in my mom’s Stomach upside down feet first (Which will be the title of my book). I started rough and it really didn’t get any smoother. People don’t care about the pain in your life because they have it too. They just want to see the baby or the painted picture of your pain. If you want to lead people or be an example you have to overcome. There really isn’t a choice! I stepped back yesterday and looked at what I had overcome since birth and where I’m at today and I’m proud! I’m not proud of some of the situations I was in but Im here and Im making a difference. I listen to the men in my men’s group and they heap tons of praise on me, I have friends  that love me and I have total strangers that tell me thank you for being vulnerable and telling you what I have overcome so they may have hope! God will bless the one that overcomes. It’s in Revelations in the bible God’s word! If anything I have learned God hasn’t lied to me yet so overcoming is all I know to do!

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Day 293 Kill or be killed

30 10 2013

Almost Halloween and I like Candy! I’m a fan of Kit Kat, Candy corn and The Candy Pumpkin! Also I’m sure if your old school you remember when we used to get the popcorn balls. That was greatness! Now you can’t give away popcorn balls because we all poison candy or whatever the news says we dd.For the second year in a row we made pumpkin seeds which are great just make sure you boil them first or they are horrible. I found out the first year.

Met a man yesterday at a construction site and sometimes either you have a pull to talk to someone or they feel they need to talk to you! Lucky for me he wanted to talk to me. We talked about the construction project and then he asked for me to tell him my story!  Not sure why besides the fact i looked tired. I explained my childhood, dad, marriage, kids, and hardships very condensed version and the first thing he said to me was overcome! He wanted to ask me questions but I asked for his story first! He explained divorce, the death of his son at 27, his two daughters and his new wife which her ex-husband killed their two sons and himself in front of her.  I was taken back and really started wanting to know why all of this crap happens. He then pulls out his bible. (This is very rare in the construction world I have seen more porn mags than bibles) and turns to revelations.  He has it highlighted and underlined the word overcome. It’s there 3 times and then looks at me and said besides, faith, hope and love God wants us to overcome! In my head I was like duh I know that, but then he said you know like the times you wanted to kill yourself. He probably thought I was looking at him like I saw a ghost, or when you thought about giving up your kids and moving away? (Again my Ghost face) or the time you business went away and your whole entire worth as a person was gone! I know you wanted to quit but you overcame.

This guy is probably 60 and that’s what I love about wisdom and older age. You know before you ask because all of our lives are very similar. He explained how he wanted to kill himself, his lack of worth and just being fed up with being a shitty man! He said the first part of overcoming is trying to stop understanding the unexplainable. Surround yourself with people that are good for your life, and finally count your blessings, rather than your loses. He said if you do the opposite of those your killing yourself or your going to be killed by someone else. Not in a physical way but once we give someone else the power typically that person is there to kill our soul! I needed to hear this man yesterday! I sat there think about all of my oh why me! Then I heard what I needed to hear!

If you know me I started the world in my mom’s Stomach upside down feet first (Which will be the title of my book). I started rough and it really didn’t get any smoother. People don’t care about the pain in your life because they have it too. They just want to see the baby or the painted picture of your pain. If you want to lead people or be an example you have to overcome. There really isn’t a choice! I stepped back yesterday and looked at what I had overcome since birth and where I’m at today and I’m proud! I’m not proud of some of the situations I was in but Im here and Im making a difference. I listen to the men in my men’s group and they heap tons of praise on me, I have friends  that love me and I have total strangers that tell me thank you for being vulnerable and telling you what I have overcome so they may have hope! God will bless the one that overcomes. It’s in Revelations in the bible God’s word! If anything I have learned God hasn’t lied to me yet so overcoming is all I know to do!





Day 290 Sex and today

28 10 2013

I love my kids so much! As they both get older they know so much but can make adult jokes some times that I have to bite my tongue because they are so funny!  On Friday I posted this to my Facebook account and it’s how I feel every other Friday! Every other Friday I get to pickup my kids from school and get the opportunity to show them what a man and father should be until the next Friday when I take them back to their mom. Those Fridays and today are my Christmas! No matter what is ever said about me when I die they can put on my tombstone that he tried to be the best father any man could want to be.

If you have read my blog for anytime you would know that I mistreated sex more than most or at least in my opinion. Like most men we learn about sex through porn or some other Douche bag in a locker room. We divide and conquer and rarely do we truly care about who we are having sex with even if we have s girlfriend. We know the physical feeling it brings and that’s all we really can do at that age. Sad part is we carry that into marriage and even to women. If a women doesn’t have a strong father figure then she thinks that the way men treat her is normal. That she has to give him sex so he feels like a man and she feels loved but even after you have sex you still feel unloved and he still doesn’t feel like  a man!

Yesterday I was at the mall and overheard two girls   say I don’t like sex with him but I need him to love me. So I asked how old are you? One was 20, and one was 21. Rather than being creepy I just walked away.  I’m sure they wondered what the old man wanted but I thought did you hear what they said! 1. They needed him to love her! 2. They didn’t even like even like it!  I bet you would like to believe that those two girls were the minority but there not at all! Look at the stats: Read strong Fathers, Strong daughters by Meg Meeker. This has become an epidemic and yes women have their fault in this but we has men are failing women!  There are having sex with us (yes even older women) because they just want to feel loved. We are so shallow and simple that we can’t do anymore stick it and leave it! Get a group of men that are trying to just be douche bags and they will act like they don’t care , but when they leave that situation they feel just as shallow, hollow, and guilty as the women! Where does it start to change?

When men actually play the father to their daughters and let them know that the are the apple of there their eye, when they stop allowing other boys/men to be the emotional, and mental makeup for the girl/women.  If you’re not the male model for your daughter she will find it somewhere else and that is never good! Grab a hold of your son and let him know why you love him, why he is special, and that sex and sports is not what makes him a man. Problem is that most fathers have no idea how to pass that message along to their children because it was never passed to them. It took me getting a divorced and having no where to go but up to open my eyes. I know that the chances of my kids screwing up sexually are still great but they are better than the average because I know and I want them to have some meaning in their relationships so they have a fighting chance.

Put your head in the sand, ignore it, act like the guy writing the blog is an idiot and blowhard, say it won’t happen to you and after your child is married for the 3rd time and it never works out for them, but it’s always the other person fault. Then maybe you  will wake up and see that you still can start but if not your children still live in the pain of not being loved by the  earthly father that God gave them. It’s never to late to start!  We as men carry so much power and never use it! What we do you is the physical power or the power of intimidation or greed to show others and out children had great we are! The power of love will always win out over the others!

 





Day 290 Sex and today

28 10 2013

I love my kids so much! As they both get older they know so much but can make adult jokes some times that I have to bite my tongue because they are so funny!  On Friday I posted this to my Facebook account and it’s how I feel every other Friday! Every other Friday I get to pickup my kids from school and get the opportunity to show them what a man and father should be until the next Friday when I take them back to their mom. Those Fridays and today are my Christmas! No matter what is ever said about me when I die they can put on my tombstone that he tried to be the best father any man could want to be.

If you have read my blog for anytime you would know that I mistreated sex more than most or at least in my opinion. Like most men we learn about sex through porn or some other Douche bag in a locker room. We divide and conquer and rarely do we truly care about who we are having sex with even if we have s girlfriend. We know the physical feeling it brings and that’s all we really can do at that age. Sad part is we carry that into marriage and even to women. If a women doesn’t have a strong father figure then she thinks that the way men treat her is normal. That she has to give him sex so he feels like a man and she feels loved but even after you have sex you still feel unloved and he still doesn’t feel like  a man!

Yesterday I was at the mall and overheard two girls   say I don’t like sex with him but I need him to love me. So I asked how old are you? One was 20, and one was 21. Rather than being creepy I just walked away.  I’m sure they wondered what the old man wanted but I thought did you hear what they said! 1. They needed him to love her! 2. They didn’t even like even like it!  I bet you would like to believe that those two girls were the minority but there not at all! Look at the stats: Read strong Fathers, Strong daughters by Meg Meeker. This has become an epidemic and yes women have their fault in this but we has men are failing women!  There are having sex with us (yes even older women) because they just want to feel loved. We are so shallow and simple that we can’t do anymore stick it and leave it! Get a group of men that are trying to just be douche bags and they will act like they don’t care , but when they leave that situation they feel just as shallow, hollow, and guilty as the women! Where does it start to change?

When men actually play the father to their daughters and let them know that the are the apple of there their eye, when they stop allowing other boys/men to be the emotional, and mental makeup for the girl/women.  If you’re not the male model for your daughter she will find it somewhere else and that is never good! Grab a hold of your son and let him know why you love him, why he is special, and that sex and sports is not what makes him a man. Problem is that most fathers have no idea how to pass that message along to their children because it was never passed to them. It took me getting a divorced and having no where to go but up to open my eyes. I know that the chances of my kids screwing up sexually are still great but they are better than the average because I know and I want them to have some meaning in their relationships so they have a fighting chance.

Put your head in the sand, ignore it, act like the guy writing the blog is an idiot and blowhard, say it won’t happen to you and after your child is married for the 3rd time and it never works out for them, but it’s always the other person fault. Then maybe you  will wake up and see that you still can start but if not your children still live in the pain of not being loved by the  earthly father that God gave them. It’s never to late to start!  We as men carry so much power and never use it! What we do you is the physical power or the power of intimidation or greed to show others and out children had great we are! The power of love will always win out over the others!

 





Day 290 Sex and today

27 10 2013

I love my kids so much! As they both get older they know so much but can make adult jokes some times that I have to bite my tongue because they are so funny!  On Friday I posted this to my Facebook account and it’s how I feel every other Friday! Every other Friday I get to pickup my kids from school and get the opportunity to show them what a man and father should be until the next Friday when I take them back to their mom. Those Fridays and today are my Christmas! No matter what is ever said about me when I die they can put on my tombstone that he tried to be the best father any man could want to be.

If you have read my blog for anytime you would know that I mistreated sex more than most or at least in my opinion. Like most men we learn about sex through porn or some other Douche bag in a locker room. We divide and conquer and rarely do we truly care about who we are having sex with even if we have s girlfriend. We know the physical feeling it brings and that’s all we really can do at that age. Sad part is we carry that into marriage and even to women. If a women doesn’t have a strong father figure then she thinks that the way men treat her is normal. That she has to give him sex so he feels like a man and she feels loved but even after you have sex you still feel unloved and he still doesn’t feel like  a man!

Yesterday I was at the mall and overheard two girls   say I don’t like sex with him but I need him to love me. So I asked how old are you? One was 20, and one was 21. Rather than being creepy I just walked away.  I’m sure they wondered what the old man wanted but I thought did you hear what they said! 1. They needed him to love her! 2. They didn’t even like even like it!  I bet you would like to believe that those two girls were the minority but there not at all! Look at the stats: Read strong Fathers, Strong daughters by Meg Meeker. This has become an epidemic and yes women have their fault in this but we has men are failing women!  There are having sex with us (yes even older women) because they just want to feel loved. We are so shallow and simple that we can’t do anymore stick it and leave it! Get a group of men that are trying to just be douche bags and they will act like they don’t care , but when they leave that situation they feel just as shallow, hollow, and guilty as the women! Where does it start to change?

When men actually play the father to their daughters and let them know that the are the apple of there their eye, when they stop allowing other boys/men to be the emotional, and mental makeup for the girl/women.  If you’re not the male model for your daughter she will find it somewhere else and that is never good! Grab a hold of your son and let him know why you love him, why he is special, and that sex and sports is not what makes him a man. Problem is that most fathers have no idea how to pass that message along to their children because it was never passed to them. It took me getting a divorced and having no where to go but up to open my eyes. I know that the chances of my kids screwing up sexually are still great but they are better than the average because I know and I want them to have some meaning in their relationships so they have a fighting chance.

Put your head in the sand, ignore it, act like the guy writing the blog is an idiot and blowhard, say it won’t happen to you and after your child is married for the 3rd time and it never works out for them, but it’s always the other person fault. Then maybe you  will wake up and see that you still can start but if not your children still live in the pain of not being loved by the  earthly father that God gave them. It’s never to late to start!  We as men carry so much power and never use it! What we do you is the physical power or the power of intimidation or greed to show others and out children had great we are! The power of love will always win out over the others!

 





Life, He Said

25 10 2013

This is beautiful!

The Better Man Project ™

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Life

He said

Is a mixture of emotion and commotion

The highs are high

And the lows are low

They will make your stomach flip when you rise

And slam you into the ground when you fall

But the worst thing you could possible do

Is numb yourself

Sedate yourself

And drug yourself with a frosted heart

Life

He said

Is a mixture of heartache and triumph

The pain hangs your head

The triumph make your heart beat

You will crumble

And you will condense

And the reasons for all this, He said

Is to make you grow

To turn you into something real

Genuine. Quality. Authentic

Life

He said

Is given to those who are not afraid

Of the possibility of pain

Because they know that the struggle is positive

The blacksmiths arm is only forged by resistance

And the human soul morphs in the same way

Through…

View original post 28 more words





Day 285 Why Im tough to date

23 10 2013

Day 285 Why Im tough to date.








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