Day 256 Searching for the Golden Person

19 09 2013

Weekend without the kids means more football and yes some time to ponder as always. It is going to be in the 80’s and UNT rugby alumni game so Im one happy dude!

I’ve mentioned this a lot about being observant of relationships and how they work or don’t.  It’s amazing how love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime! It can also touch us once and we try to touch everyone with what we think is love.  The idea is that someone is out there for you and if we can can find them, their love will carry us for a lifetime. We can’t think we have been immune to this. Of all the movies, songs, TV shows, poetry you probably can’t name 5 where love wasn’t the theme. How many people come to the alter or hope to of happy ever after.. We’ve been fed from childhood. Please understand  me we long to be loved by another person.It is not good for men to be alone. Most people’s lives are incredibly lonely  ( some of the worst are married people). Our worst pain comes from our present isolation. We are surrounded by people, but truly known by so few- if any! We long for soul-to-soul connection but we rarely allow ourselves to receive it.  I have a friend from Divorce care  her poured herself out to me and my heart broke from her telling me about the failings of her 10 year marriage.. I started to become concerned because she said that she still had days where she wanted to die  and couldn’t stop crying.  This was not initial shock because she had been divorced for 13 months. Grief is normal and can last a long time but she was reacting that she lost her life. Which of course is what happens when you make someone else your life. Still the hardest lesson I learned.

So why do we look for love online date? If we can ever distance ourselves from it we’d see it’s no less crazy than searching for Lockness, the Fountain f Youth. Cyber/Internet relationships have search the look for the Golden person. Internet love never has bad breath, you don’t get an STD, and the best part nobody ever has to know. We actually think this intimacy!  It could be in an idyllic type of way! Its safe I was told. Trying to give your heart to a photo and a bunch of lies is not safe! The only way to find what you’re looking for is to live life face to face and accept the flaws.

Im so much better in person than online or text. Im funny, charming, and like to make people smile. My honesty is overwhelming and I’m safe. The one thing Im not though is your Golden person. I’m so faulted but I’m honest with them.  The one thing that is a must is that I not your life. This maybe hard for you to understand, but God is the one you lean on and hopefully I will lead and love in a manner where I may feel like your Golden person but if I died I need you to continue life and not fall apart without me. If we put all of us into one person that person will fail us and then we go and find the next person to fulfill something that we aren’t made to do.  So when you looking online, bar, church etc.. or with what you have remember that love  is not about finding your Golden person it’s about finding the one that is fully flawed and you love them anyway. Hope this makes sense!




One response

21 09 2013

Beautiful words and you do make sense…. Being alone is not nice for anyone.. but as you say many people are just that within a marriage… I’d like to think that life is about falling in love with ourself, finding what we like, who we like to be with, being true to ourself and enjoying life… this should surely attract our perfect partner to come into our life… Of course we might have to do a little creating… imagining… our new love walking around the corner and meeting our eyes.. and…. take care, Barbara

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