Day 201 Falling in Love again

28 07 2013

Spent the weekend in Austin with my boy Scott. It’s great to be able to have a friend that life is just more peaceful with.  I got to visit a few friends I haven’t seen in years as well. I love to drive and Austin is just a short drive but I took the back-roads and loved it. We move so fast paced and forget about the country and what it has to offer. Also small town Texas is great with the people, the stories and some amazing pie! If you have never been tot a tattoo show please go amazing people with a true appreciation for art.

The past two weeks I have missed having a family ,a complete family with wife, husband and kids, I have missed it like air. I was born to be a husband and dad.  To have that complete life again I have to fall in love again. Its harder  now than before because of what I know and I won’t settle. I’m not looking for perfection but God DID NOT make all men and women to be together as a couple. I have certainly learned that in the past few years. I have been told to just live and don’t worry about getting caught up in what doesn’t work. I’m sorry I can’t do that. I want the following: I want to wear a ring again on my finger, I want to sit across from her in a booth and have our eyes meet and just know my life is complete, I want to hold hands in public, when life punches you in the gut you can come home and not only have her ear but her heart, when you’re not giving 100% she tells you its okay because there will be a day that I won’t either. Someone I can trust (with everything). To me falling in love again is about these things more than the good: when you make me mad and vice versa, when I disappoint you, how do you react.  Do you run from adversity in our relationship, do you find other outlets to medicate than work our relationship. Since most people our age that are single have been divorced you understand disappointment. Does that disappointment cause to lose your love for me. Love to me is dealing withe the hell, the past, and the bad. When I’m meetings your needs and doing what I’m supposed to love is easy. I want to love when its difficult and want that person to do that back. I’m so ready to fall in real love again not the crap that I was when I was married, but I know if I settle I will be back writing this same blog again. So no matter how much my heart and life wants a wife I will be single until God finds that warrior type women that will fall in love with me too.

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