Day 195 Look at the movie Im in

21 07 2013

This weekend was the first time I had both of my kids with me in 3 weeks. We had a great time and I got to pick her Friday from the airport. It look liked she aged a year when she was walking up. I made this post yesterday morning on Facebook: The greatest sound I have ever heard is when my two kids are laughing. Thank u God for allowing me to finally stop and listen to what matters. I missed so many things in my life trying to “figure out life or me, but I’m learning to stop and yesterday they were both laughing out loud. I don’t think I had ever been that happy.

I have a friend that sends me these little says to get my opinion on them and yesterday she sent me the best one I have ever read and I mean it. It’s about when you find “that girl”

Bob Marley quote

I listen to a Sports radio station called The Ticket and it’s so much more than sports. They still talk about it but it’s about being in your own movie. I never understood what that meant but I started observing people more and I understand exactly what movie they are talking about. The movie is about Life and the only life they know is their own and every other person/character is just playing a bit role in their movie. I was that guy and should have won an Oscar for the story of one of the saddest/loneliest stories ever told. I was every scene and I thought I was so creative and you would never figure out the ending of my movie. 5 minutes in you wanted to leave because you knew the ending but you sad this idiot is about to crash and burn. We all know people like watching crash scenes or people’s life going into the toilet. How dare somebody walk into my movie and take my time. Do you know who I am? I didn’t even give you your lines and nobody wants to hear from you. That’s what happens when you have one of the worst addictions: Myself! All I thought about was me, myself and I. I had no true concept of love, or sacrifice. I didn’t care about what you said when you were talking to me I shook my head but I was preparing what I was going to say. I would even hug you when I left and tell you I missed you and loved you. I hope you didn’t fall for that. Some days I did care but mostly it was about my movie. When I tell you I’m sorry when its been a while since I’ve seen you I mean it. I’m sorry that I was tuned to station 101 Tyler. The commercials suck and the content was horrible. The station closed because of bankruptcy and new management! The drug of self maybe the toughest drug to come clean off of. I know and now I watch you. You say the right thing, you even put yourself out at charity events so people see you, but you don’t do anything. Your just hoping someone sees you there so you can say. I help the community. You’re at church so people see you there and you get back in your car and your life unravels before you start the engine. I’ve been there and it sucks. Pretend all you want your movie really stinks and nobody wants to see it. There making their own and to busy to watch yours.  If you don’t think people really know that you’re a selfish, egotistical, sad clown, stop right there! People talk about when you leave and there not talking smack they are speaking the truth. Put down your video camera and start dealing with who you really are so you can find out who you really are.

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