Day 184 Yellow Light/Believe

11 07 2013

I made my first big purchase since my divorce yesterday. I bought a new car. I have to thank Jennifer L. Trayce C. and another who will remain anonymous for now for the help. I was scared like a little boy, I felt like I was doing something wrong. I have no idea why and I had a lot of doubt because of credit, bankruptcy and  my past. Yesterday at 5:10 I became the new owner of a GMC Arcadia. Life is about moving on and as one friend told me and she tells me a lot just believe!

At the start of 2010 I weighed 337 and today I weighed 257. 80 lbs slow and steady. It wasn’t always easy and I fell off many times.we can accomplish anything no matter what life throws at us. Yes I’m bragging but sometimes one person can give others hope. I’m so proud of myself because I always thought I would be fat. It just took a little bit each day. I appreciate the support from those who love and always have.

So why am I right and actually saying good things about myself which is abnormal it’s because there true.  I spend a lot of time tell you how wrong I was and I was but I have done a lot of good things too. I want just want to offer hope today. You know when were driving and we see the yellow light for most of us that’s speed up not slow down which is what it was intended for. I promise I see us do it and now the traffic cameras do to. I was one of those when they saw they YELLOW LIGHT OF LIFE I slammed on the brakes. I have no idea what caused it either. I know fear but I knew better. I felt sorry for myself, I had every excuse, (yes even that one). Agreed life took a giant dump on me and I didn’t deserve all of it but most I brought upon myself. I alienated everyone in my including my kids. I stopped loving, liking everything. I didn’t just stop at the yellow light I put my car in park, closed the door and walked away. Today when I stepped on the scale I took a deep breath and said please let me be able to say I lost 80 lbs. I didn’t cheat it actually said 257 lbs. I got off and gave myself an air high 5. I went over to the bench and just sat there and said see you can do it. Last Thursday at Crossfit I finished the hardest workout I have ever done in my life. I went into my car and cried because the past 5 years I had thrown in the towel and said there’s always tomorrow. I wanted to quit so bad I hurt everywhere but I finished. People who know me think I’m invincible and I wanted you to think, but I was a broken boy. Today life as thrown knew circumstances at me but I’m ready and I believe I will stomp the crap out of them. Like all of us some days are good and some days are bad but I believe. Nobody can do anything for us until we believe we can.  I have a few to send thanks too for always being there and listening to me rant and rave, talk to much or laugh at my stupid jokes: My mom (stubborn old lady), my beautiful daughter who offers encouragement everyday, Jim M. always my voice of reason, Heather H. Danielle D.,  Scott N. , T.C., Brian H., My Wednesday morning and Wednesday night men’s group (some of the most real and extraordinary men walking on this earth) Finally my God, Who has heard me cuss his name, laugh at him, cry with him, ignore him and thank him sometimes. No matter what I said he was sitting next to me telling me I created you for greatness and your on your way my son!!




One response

16 07 2013

Wow!! Congrats on losing your 80 pounds. I had to lose 100 pounds after my stroke and it was like pulling teeth. Keep up the good work…you are an inspiration 🙂

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