Day 182 Love right or wrong

I know most men don’t get them and I have no idea how I did but I got a UTI (Urinary Tract infection) yes they hurt and yes its weird to feel that way there. I think Im better today but lets not do that again. I did drink a lot of cranberry juice so something good came from it. Crossfit is still amazing it hurts but it’s a good hurt and I’m accomplishing something which I needed to feel that way. It felt like I hadn’t accomplished anything lately.

My answer to this question is I don’t know but I will ramble and lets see: Can you love someone who you haven’t lived life with? A very close friend asked me to write about this and I ve been thinking about this a lot. When I was in my 20’s I would say yes. Love in your 20′ s is a silly love. I believe you can love some you haven’t lived life with but you have to grow with it. The problem is after divorce or later in your life. We are jaded and there is nothing like blind love anymore. We finally know that people don’t change or we can’t change them and we all need to be fixed. We lost trust not only in the opposite sex but the BS we were raised to believe about life so we have to learn all over again. You only do that by living life and trying not to wait for the other shoe to drop. You see a behavior or pattern that you saw in an ex and your first thought isn’t come here I want to give you a hug. Your first thought is go away far far away. Don’t tell me Tyler you’re not healed or not ready. No that’s crap. I’m talking about being real and I said the first thing that came to your mind, not logically after you thought about it.

I just want to believe in love again and I know one day blah blah, but I believe that I will have to live life and know what happens when S&IT hits the fan. Example: Bad day at work, all you want to do is come home sit down and get 15 minutes with your thoughts, what happens next: Significant other had a horrible day, you forgot to pay a bill, you found out that your daughter had sex for the first time, the telemarketers call at the same time, your other kid forgot to tell you about a project due tomorrow, your ex calls and asks why you didn’t do XYZ. Now you tell me how your going to react. You don’t know until your there. If you fly off the handle or the other person does and this is how it normally goes then can you love that person? I don’t know but I have to see how life reacts to you and then you react to it. I could claim to love you blindly now but that situation happens then that may change everything.

I know we have to forgive the bad we had in our past, be able to accept the good as well. We are bringing each other into the others world and it can be scary ex (mother-in-laws). I m going to try my best to show you the right and wrong of my life is that enough. I’ll protect you from everything in life when you need to hide, but can you do that for me. That’s what love is for me when I’m not at my best or you’re not how do I love you and you love me and we have to live that together you just don’t know.

It’s just my ramble please share your thoughts.