Day 178 Ecstasy or Agony

5 07 2013

4th of July was pretty awesome. Got to spend with my mom, nephew, 2 aunts and my 95-year-old Grandma. She’s still pretty cool and can still kick butt. The City of Fort Worth hired a company from Japan to put on the fireworks show and it was great and different. With shapes and faces and one heck of a finally.

I started Crossfit this week and it is the toughest but the best thing I have done for myself in a while. I did three times this week and yesterday we did 165 wall ball squats. Today I’m walking pretty darn slow! If your serious about getting into he best shape with a really great group of people now is the time.

Im not sure this person Im about to write about reads the blog anymore  but I have something that still eats at me from a past hurt. I asked this person do you care if I was dead or alive! This was two years ago and still today no answer. I still wonder would they be in ecstasy or agony about my death. Im sure your think they would be agony but honestly I don’t know. It has been left up to me to wonder and that still hurts! I know I tried to hard to open up and change and make a better relationship, but all I did was not be the man I thought I was going to be, I disappointed and failed at things but not to answer if you want me dead or alive. I never could understand why someone we leave someone so alone with that thought always dangling in their mind. I have no idea why today I wanted to write about this but I guess I have the keyboard so it’s just my thoughts.

If you read this and you know who you are please give me a peace of mind that you see what I have become and what I did is over. Just tell me you would be in agony and not ecstasy.

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