Day 203 Homeless Church is humbling

31 07 2013

I spent Saturday and Sunday morning in Austin. I was feeling pretty down missed my buddy and didn’t want to come home. I was trying to get tot he Tattoo convention in downtown and there were all of these people at the end of 6th street. I’m always curious so I rolled down my window and said what was that. The guy said that’s the bums of Austin and the light turned green.  So I got a great parking spot on 6th street but that’s because it was 10:00am and I got out of the car and started walking over. The smell was pretty overwhelming if the wind caught your nose right. I really didn’t know what to do except walk and try to hide behind one of the pillars. This church takes place outside under 35 and has food, worship and homeless of all shapes, sizes, colors, and a few outsiders like me. When walking up I wanted to hide  because I didn’t know what to do, but also because I’m ashamed of myself for the way I always thought of homeless. I know they didn’t know my feelings from my past but I bet I wore it on my face. So trying to hide a black guy named Trey came up to me while I’m trying to hide and said I used to play Rugby (I had my Denton Rugby shirt on) he gave me the brother hug and I hug him. He was homeless I knew from the weather-beaten skin and tattered cloths but he was so friendly and outgoing. He said laughing did you get lost? I said no I’m just curious so he gave me the walk through and then said this is my normal on Sundays like yours. How did you know I go to church? He said you can see in your eyes you’re a good man and you walked over not knowing anyone. I didn’t know what to say except thank you and what do I do now? He introduced me to what looked like “Church people” who were leading the worship and about to be service.Katy who was probably my age welcomed me and asked was I there to help? I said no I was about to go to the convention center and I got curious what this was. She said it is what normal people call homeless church. I asked why here and how did you get so many to come. She said a lot pass out after leaving 6th street and it was a great place to bring the spirit of the Lord since all the people were already there. I bet there were 500 hundred homeless, some worshiping, some smoking cigarettes, some shooting the breeze, some ignoring, and some watching me. Katy had to sing but told me not to leave and she would be back. I listened and for the first time in a long time I heard the worship song without going through the motions and I was upset that I go every Sunday to church and just go through the motions. One of the really cool things is right after worship and before the message they passed the cup and money was put in the cup. Yes homeless people were putting money in the cup. They have nothing but still take what little they have pennies, quarters or dollars and stuffed the cup. I tithe but sometimes I complain to myself that maybe this time I won’t. Talk about being humbled!

Message starts and more people are paying attention the message was  about giving thanks! I wanted to leave right then. I knew I would get stared at but that was just my guilty conscience beating me up. The message started off with your alive so give thanks because you have a chance to live out what God wants from us! I swallowed hard because I was whining that I have to get up and go to work Monday. I could right forever about the message it was only 10 minutes but I heard the echo all day. Why do we stop giving thanks and just complain. I saw  the homeless and pity them at first but I’m sure many could see I needed the pity. Why pity me because I really don’t appreciate what I have Im sure they saw that.  Why someone got in the situation doesn’t matter but they are there and just in the 35 minutes I stood there I saw, felt more hope than I had in years. We were all alive and that means we can do what God wants us to still. I had to go three hours away and walk in a very unfamiliar scary place at first to hear what God was trying to say. I heard you now please help me to carry through.

http://onethousandsingledays.com/  One of my favorite bloggers posted this video from her blog about being down and out please watch and feel what the homeless man feels.

Feel this homeless man

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Day 203 Homeless Church is humbling

31 07 2013

Day 203 Homeless Church is humbling.





Day 203 Homeless Church is humbling

30 07 2013

I spent Saturday and Sunday morning in Austin. I was feeling pretty down missed my buddy and didn’t want to come home. I was trying to get tot he Tattoo convention in downtown and there were all of these people at the end of 6th street. I’m always curious so I rolled down my window and said what was that. The guy said that’s the bums of Austin and the light turned green.  So I got a great parking spot on 6th street but that’s because it was 10:00am and I got out of the car and started walking over. The smell was pretty overwhelming if the wind caught your nose right. I really didn’t know what to do except walk and try to hide behind one of the pillars. This church takes place outside under 35 and has food, worship and homeless of all shapes, sizes, colors, and a few outsiders like me. When walking up I wanted to hide  because I didn’t know what to do, but also because I’m ashamed of myself for the way I always thought of homeless. I know they didn’t know my feelings from my past but I bet I wore it on my face. So trying to hide a black guy named Trey came up to me while I’m trying to hide and said I used to play Rugby (I had my Denton Rugby shirt on) he gave me the brother hug and I hug him. He was homeless I knew from the weather-beaten skin and tattered cloths but he was so friendly and outgoing. He said laughing did you get lost? I said no I’m just curious so he gave me the walk through and then said this is my normal on Sundays like yours. How did you know I go to church? He said you can see in your eyes you’re a good man and you walked over not knowing anyone. I didn’t know what to say except thank you and what do I do now? He introduced me to what looked like “Church people” who were leading the worship and about to be service.Katy who was probably my age welcomed me and asked was I there to help? I said no I was about to go to the convention center and I got curious what this was. She said it is what normal people call homeless church. I asked why here and how did you get so many to come. She said a lot pass out after leaving 6th street and it was a great place to bring the spirit of the Lord since all the people were already there. I bet there were 500 hundred homeless, some worshiping, some smoking cigarettes, some shooting the breeze, some ignoring, and some watching me. Katy had to sing but told me not to leave and she would be back. I listened and for the first time in a long time I heard the worship song without going through the motions and I was upset that I go every Sunday to church and just go through the motions. One of the really cool things is right after worship and before the message they passed the cup and money was put in the cup. Yes homeless people were putting money in the cup. They have nothing but still take what little they have pennies, quarters or dollars and stuffed the cup. I tithe but sometimes I complain to myself that maybe this time I won’t. Talk about being humbled!

Message starts and more people are paying attention the message was  about giving thanks! I wanted to leave right then. I knew I would get stared at but that was just my guilty conscience beating me up. The message started off with your alive so give thanks because you have a chance to live out what God wants from us! I swallowed hard because I was whining that I have to get up and go to work Monday. I could right forever about the message it was only 10 minutes but I heard the echo all day. Why do we stop giving thanks and just complain. I saw  the homeless and pity them at first but I’m sure many could see I needed the pity. Why pity me because I really don’t appreciate what I have Im sure they saw that.  Why someone got in the situation doesn’t matter but they are there and just in the 35 minutes I stood there I saw, felt more hope than I had in years. We were all alive and that means we can do what God wants us to still. I had to go three hours away and walk in a very unfamiliar scary place at first to hear what God was trying to say. I heard you now please help me to carry through.

http://onethousandsingledays.com/  One of my favorite bloggers posted this video from her blog about being down and out please watch and feel what the homeless man feels.

Feel this homeless man





Day 201 Falling in Love again

29 07 2013

Day 201 Falling in Love again.





Day 201 Falling in Love again

29 07 2013

Day 201 Falling in Love again.





Day 201 Falling in Love again

28 07 2013

Spent the weekend in Austin with my boy Scott. It’s great to be able to have a friend that life is just more peaceful with.  I got to visit a few friends I haven’t seen in years as well. I love to drive and Austin is just a short drive but I took the back-roads and loved it. We move so fast paced and forget about the country and what it has to offer. Also small town Texas is great with the people, the stories and some amazing pie! If you have never been tot a tattoo show please go amazing people with a true appreciation for art.

The past two weeks I have missed having a family ,a complete family with wife, husband and kids, I have missed it like air. I was born to be a husband and dad.  To have that complete life again I have to fall in love again. Its harder  now than before because of what I know and I won’t settle. I’m not looking for perfection but God DID NOT make all men and women to be together as a couple. I have certainly learned that in the past few years. I have been told to just live and don’t worry about getting caught up in what doesn’t work. I’m sorry I can’t do that. I want the following: I want to wear a ring again on my finger, I want to sit across from her in a booth and have our eyes meet and just know my life is complete, I want to hold hands in public, when life punches you in the gut you can come home and not only have her ear but her heart, when you’re not giving 100% she tells you its okay because there will be a day that I won’t either. Someone I can trust (with everything). To me falling in love again is about these things more than the good: when you make me mad and vice versa, when I disappoint you, how do you react.  Do you run from adversity in our relationship, do you find other outlets to medicate than work our relationship. Since most people our age that are single have been divorced you understand disappointment. Does that disappointment cause to lose your love for me. Love to me is dealing withe the hell, the past, and the bad. When I’m meetings your needs and doing what I’m supposed to love is easy. I want to love when its difficult and want that person to do that back. I’m so ready to fall in real love again not the crap that I was when I was married, but I know if I settle I will be back writing this same blog again. So no matter how much my heart and life wants a wife I will be single until God finds that warrior type women that will fall in love with me too.





Day 199 Habits are Cobwebs

26 07 2013

Watching life around you is sometimes breath-taking and at other times it is all out hell.  I have seen many amazing things the birth of both of my children, the life changing healing of the physical body of two friends,  I have seen a couple that actually beat each other in the church parking lot restore their marriage, and I have seen myself change from a destroyed, beaten little boy to the beginnings of a man who sees the world through non-judgmental glasses. Sure age wise I was a man but from a mental capacity I was still holding my blanket and wearing my diaper. The one thing that I continue to struggle with on many aspects is my old habits.

Habits are cobwebs at first but will become cables at last. I have tried very hard to remember that over the past two years, but still failing because of that stupid thing that I’m an imperfect human. We are what we repeatedly do. excellence, then,  is not an act but a habit. Habit can be good but mostly always care a negative stigma. Eating habits, who we date, how we date, money, health etc.. Knowing the habitual mind is over 1 million times more powerful than the conscious mid means we are stuck on autopilot. Think about how many things are on autopilot in our mind? Habits are ingrained through repeated action. One of my worst habits is eating when I’m stressed. There are times I find myself in the kitchen saying what in the heck  am I doing I’m not hungry but I have done this since I was about 10. I know now that everything in life can change but only we have the power to choose and power to change. We have to let go of old thinking and adopt a new mindset and that is the only way to change life our future is to erase the past ways.

Those who are great, I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures. You can run me for profit or run me for ruin.  I’m your servant. Who am I? I am your habit! They are those most powerful things that they we carry on a daily basis.

All I know to tell you is start with one: You may resist change or new ideas, you procrastinate, you waste too much time, your lazy. Whatever pick one and do the following:

Write it down, Accept it and own it. You have to decide this not someone else

Measure it- How often do you use it.

Visualize your change.

Finally remember this : You become what you think about! Earl Nightingale. If you don’t believe me start looking at how you see yourself and see if that’s not what you are.








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