Day 91 Commitment Fulfilled

20 11 2012

Thank you for all the comments on my last blog. Its funny what causes people to read and respond. Had a great two days. Most of my friends are gone away with family so it’s a tad bit lonely but I m so glad that you peeps got away.

The amount of stress and unhappiness this time of year is amazing. If it’s in traffic or just being friendly to one another. I m not sure besides money or mother-in-laws that people are so upset about. Take it one day at  a time people tomorrow may not come.

When the words I want a divorce were spoken my counselor Brian begged me not to get in a relationship or have sex for 6 months. He said that with the pain I would be going through all another relationship or sex would do  is cause more pain for myself and others. Fixing  pain with pain never works. You also never get to see the true colors of another person when you in the midst of your own hell.

I can say today which is the 6th month mark that I did it. I actually have gone overboard with the sex I am on day 459 without sex and I have not been in a relationship. I can say that with sex I have come very close twice but I said a prayer and the prayer came true.I can say that I m so proud of myself because I had filled the voids of life with sex in the past.

I have been able to talk to women and actually care about them and what they have to say rather than looking at them (crude way of saying a piece of ass) and see who they are. Some I know aren’t right for me and some we will see. I can have a conversation, I can talk about my past with no lies and no judgement on myself. The six months for me helped me also see where I fall short and grounded me enough to be able to know what I still have to work on. I got to see what really matters and if cloths are laying on the floor the world isn’t going to end.

I know that a woman is going to be lucky to have me,that we will work together and love together. That life will throw grenades but we will can get in the hole together and get out together. It allowed me to see that I can and will be married again.

This doesn’t mean the flood gates open and I date everyone but now I m ready.  I want to thank Brian Hackney for who you are and what you mean to me. Jim McBride who has supported me and asked me every time I met a lady he prayed and asked did you have sex. Thank you for being accountable. There are two other people I want to thank but they asked me not to mention their names but you know who you are and thank you for respecting what I m trying to do.

Men we can speak to a lady and not have sex on our mind. We can value a women for who she is not just her butt and boobs. Its refreshing and if this broken, sexual weirdo can do it you can too.

pass this on!!!!




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