Day 78 Old Tyler is Dying

8 11 2012

What a hell of  a day. From my daughter having to go to the Dr. for a tendon problem in her foot to the counseling appt. I had today. It was one of the hardest and most depressing counseling sessions I’ve  had in a long time. Now it was necessary everything I heard. It ended in a playful but not so much with me flipping off my counselor. We both laughed kind of but I didn’t want to.

We all go through seasons in life. We all know the seasons (Fall, Winter, Spring and Summer) Sometimes we never leave a season. I’m in the winter right now. Things are dying in the old me so when my spring comes I will have new blooms. After today I know I still have a lot of anger and maybe  more fear than I have ever had or maybe admitted.

Do remember the old pin cushions our mothers had.  You would see a hundred different pins in them and it seemed they were never used. My life is that pin cushion. I pulled out 100 of those pins in the past year  dropped them on the ground and that still leave holes in your heart. When you try to pick the pins up that you need to sustain a quality God-fearing life you stab the pins in your hands, you drop them on your foot. What I mean is you hurt yourself. You have to plug the wholes out when you empty your heart  (Pin cushion) but you can’t do it all at one time. I thought I was in my spring season of life but I got a dose of reality today that I m in winter and there are still parts of me dying off. Good thing is that they will die and I will be one hell of  a new blooming tree soon but this hurts. I want to believe or force myself to be in a new season of life but it only comes in God’s time and not mine. You would have thought I would have learned that already but I’m  still hard-headed.

Please know I m not writing for attention or sympathy. I just know if we are honest we all either have or will go through this. I want you to be prepared you cannot skip steps in healing. It’s always darkest before the dawn. My sun is coming up I just have to be patient. I started isolating myself again and getting away from what has helped me get to at least this point. I m going back to counseling weekly. Also I hear that the holidays suck for single people so I will need the support.

Love you pass this along.




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Matthew Winters (Comeback Pastor)

The life, ministry, & thoughts of a Christ-follower, husband, dad, & minister


Let's seek the truth. Let's share in Christ.

My True North

A certain darkness is needed to see the stars.


A peek into Megha's mind


Christian News, Devotional, Leadership, Church, Evangelism, Conference, Worship, Pastors , Bible, Gospel Music,Gospel,Salvation, GoodNews, Disciples, Cross,Winning, Love, Mercy,Bible Study,New Testament, Church,Matthew,Mark, Luke, John,Heart, Soul, Body,Mind,Spirit,Church History, Books, Pastorso, Evangelists. Teachers, Apostles, Healing, Leadership, Grace, Salvation, Faith,Lifestyle and Entertainment,


Invite Rizky FAUZI as Speaker - 08986800220 (Chat WA) | SUPPORT HAMIKU SUCCESS with SHARE IT | Setelah DIBACA timbal baliknya harus di-SHARE soalnya gak gratis... - RIZKY FAUZI


a collision of science and comedy

This is My Story, This is My Song.

This is my journey with faith, love, acceptance, redemption through God's incredible grace and mercy!

Surviving the affair....the cheaters perspective

I cheated. Yip I did it, I am not proud of it, but that won't change a thing. This is my story of me trying to survive one day at a time. No guarantees....

%d bloggers like this: