Day 99 Yes we are that stupid

28 11 2012

It was check day for the subs. I love this day because I actually feel like I m doing something to help people out. I also got to interact with a property inspector for the city this guy was kind of pleasant but good lord they have great job security. Lets just say I was very nice and kept my mouth closed. Which is a big change.

My morning men’s group was very interesting today about how men are warriors but when we become that man we are brought to our knees by women and society. I ll blog about it later but lets just say it was very intense. It wasn’t a bashing session it was just the truth.

I also had counseling today. I swear I get so drained and torn but I always come out feeling like the lessons from the last time were worth all of it. We covered dating and what that should mean for me. I think I finally have a clear picture of what that means and how I need to do it.

If money was no object what would you do? This isn’t a question we should ignore. I think its one question that when we answer it our life can start moving in the direction we want it to. Have you ever been around that person that is doing what they want no matter kind of money they are making. I’m so jealous of that person because I can’t or won’t do what it takes. This all came up today because of this 3 minute video from today.

What if money was no object

How would you enjoy spending your life, but because how we were raised and our education system we are taught go to college, work for the man and live comfortably. Typically we are always miserable and graduate with a degree we didn’t want in the first place or we cant use it. We need to do what makes us happy. Alan watts says a very profound statement. Do what you want  forget the money, if you say getting the money is the most important then your life will be a waste of time. You’ll be doing things you don’t like doing in order to go on living doing things you don’t like doing. It’s stupid. Its better to have a short life doing what you like doing rather than a long life spent in a miserable way.

After all if you like doing what you’re doing eventually you will master it and then you will get a good fee for it.. We do this daily and then we do this to our children and let them watch us do this so they can do it to their children. What do you desire?? It can’t be greed it has to be doing what we know makes us happy and helping others. We need kindness and heart.  We have to stop being machines based on what we are told and take that mustard seed of faith. Bring happiness to ur self and its okay to be afraid that just means that confidence is on the other side.

 





Day 98 Cheap Sex

27 11 2012

m tired my daughter work up with an ear ache and didn’t go back to sleep until 4:00. Then at 4:30 my son comes to bed and tells me for 10 minutes about a scary dream. He has one hell of an an imagination. Morgan did have an ear infection and I think every kid in the Dr.offices did.

My friend Laura sent me this article today and wanted to know is it true. Yes it is all of it. I m giving you the whole article here but only commenting on a few parts. Will He Stick Around After You Get Intimate? Not If You Make These Common Mistakes

This is a great read for women and men take a few notes. Ladies please know this is for real men not little boys or lying men.

What You Need To Create In Him BEFORE You Have Sex

Here’s the thing…

Yes, you might have “goofed” by being physical with him too early – you know, before you were clear about what YOU wanted, so that you wouldn’t get hurt if you found out he didn’t want the same thing.

But stop being so hard on yourself. It’s the past, and it’s not the problem now. The real problem now is something entirely different. Sleeping or being physical with a man is NOT a bad thing.

But FIRST you’ve got to CREATE the right FEELINGS inside him – feelings that have nothing to do with SEX – for sex to end up truly bringing you closer in love.

A man won’t “fall” for you just because you’ve slept together. Although, it’s likely that YOU will feel more bonded to him after sleeping with him.

It’s part of the biological make-up of a woman and a man. It’s the way things are “wired.”

So you want to know how to “re-wire” things?

First of all, stop hoping that the fact that you’ve had sex will magically win him over into being an open and loving partner like you are.

Then read the section in Chapter 8 of my eBook called “Triggering A Deeper Level Of Attraction In A Man”:

Download eBook

What you need to know is there. In it, I reveal another kind of ATTRACTION that goes deeper than just the everyday PHYSICAL ATTRACTION a man can feel for you: EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION.

When a man feels ATTRACTION for you in this way, then he will become EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED to you on a deeper level than he ever could simply through his physical desire for you.

You know a man has intense physical desires. That’s easy.

But have you taken the time to learn how the deeper, more “relationship-oriented” feelings and emotions are created inside him?

The feelings that make a man want to be with one woman in a committed relationship are different than what makes A WOMAN open to exploring a relationship.

Ever Thought About What A Man Really Wants In A Woman?

I’m talking about mature, healthy men here. Not “man-boys” or “players”, who have a totally different agenda altogether.

Men want someone they feel deeply ATTRACTED to.

They want to have that feeling of WANTING a woman.

They want to worship her, to please her, to ravish her, and to sweep her off her feet with their physical and emotional presence. And for the woman to be utterly and completely taken with them and what they do.

So, what happens when men act like they’re not interested in anything serious or don’t want a relationship or their too busy to have one… or any other of a list of lame excuses they give you?

This happens because most women don’t create the experience that will make a man FEEL this way.

Plain and simple.

A man is looking for that “WOW!” experience with a woman. And when he doesn’t feel it, there’s nothing a woman who doesn’t make him FEEL this way can do or say to make him want something more with her.

He just loses interest and moves on.

But keep reading, because I’m going to show you how to create that unforgettable experience for him…

His Drive To Be Challenged… And Win

The other thing to know is that men have something that I call the “Pursuit Gene.”

There’s a drive in men that makes them want to be CHALLENGED… and to overcome that challenge. I know it sounds cliche, but it’s true.

Men want to be challenged by the idea of meeting, attracting, and pursuing a woman. And then they want to win the woman over and feel stronger as a man for having done it.

Men will meet this challenge in one of two ways:

  1. They’ll find fulfillment from the feeling of “freedom” and emptiness by physically being with a woman in the short-term (sex)
  2. They find connection and love by physically AND emotionally being with the woman in a deeper and “longer-term” way (relationship)

Here’s the AMAZING part…

A woman helps him choose which it will be with her.

Interesting…

The Point Is, Men LOVE The Chase

It’s part of their genetic make-up.

But if a woman loses control emotionally, seeks HIS APPROVAL, or thinks she can trade sex to receive love before a man is experiencing an intense desire to WIN HER OVER and to be with her, then something else happens.

The man loses that feeling of excitement and challenge with her. He recognizes that the woman has already given over physical and emotional CONTROL to him. Which destroys the strongest “lead-in” to creating lasting love with a man.

What is that “lead-in”?

ATTRACTION.

Men want to feel ATTRACTION.

They don’t want a woman to try to convince them that what they’re experiencing and feeling should be meaningful and loving. No. That’s not how men work.

Instead, they want to FEEL their desire for a woman inside their whole body, emotionally driving them, and for it to be undeniable and unrelenting.

Get where I’m going here?

Don’t Deny Him The Thrill Of The Chase

So if you don’t allow a man to FEEL that desire, to feel like he can’t stop thinking about you and wanting you BEFORE you sleep with him, it won’t create a situation where he’s going to want anything more than a fleeting sexual experience.

There is a way to get a man FEELING it for you.

There are specific behaviors and attitudes that make a woman literally IRRESISTIBLE to a man, so that he will feel that strong desire to be with you before, during and the all-important AFTER getting physically intimate with him.

And he will not only be “open” to talking about something deeper and more meaningful with you, he’ll INSIST on it.

How To Make Him Want You And Only You

I’ve put together an entire program about what it is that makes a man fall madly for you because he just can’t stop thinking about you and wanting you.

This program is Natural & Lasting Attraction. In it, I explain exactly what a woman can do and say to push all the “right buttons” to create Emotional Attraction.

I also reveal little-known secrets such as:

  • How to spot and identify an immature man QUICKLY so you never again waste your time on someone who doesn’t deserve you
  • The 5 things about a woman that a man is genetically programmed to be attracted to… and how to quickly let a man know you possess ALL these qualities
  • The mysterious “missing ingredient” that makes a man interested in MUCH MORE than just a short fling or affair

And tons more…

I explain it all right here (and you can watch right now):

Natural & Lasting Attraction

I don’t ever want you to feel insecure and uncertain when you sleep with a man. Watch Natural & Lasting Attraction now and find out what it takes to be the woman he can’t wait to be physically AND emotionally close with… again and again.





Day 98 Cheap Sex

27 11 2012

I m tired my daughter work up with an ear ache and didn’t go back to sleep until 4:00. Then at 4:30 my son comes to bed and tells me for 10 minutes about a scary dream. He has one hell of an an imagination. Morgan did have an ear infection and I think every kid in the Dr.offices did.

My friend Laura sent me this article today and wanted to know is it true. Yes it is all of it. I m giving you the whole article here but only commenting on a few parts. Will He Stick Around After You Get Intimate? Not If You Make These Common Mistakes

This is a great read for women and men take a few notes. Ladies please know this is for real men not little boys or lying men.

What You Need To Create In Him BEFORE You Have Sex

Here’s the thing…

Yes, you might have “goofed” by being physical with him too early – you know, before you were clear about what YOU wanted, so that you wouldn’t get hurt if you found out he didn’t want the same thing.

But stop being so hard on yourself. It’s the past, and it’s not the problem now. The real problem now is something entirely different. Sleeping or being physical with a man is NOT a bad thing.

But FIRST you’ve got to CREATE the right FEELINGS inside him – feelings that have nothing to do with SEX – for sex to end up truly bringing you closer in love.

A man won’t “fall” for you just because you’ve slept together. Although, it’s likely that YOU will feel more bonded to him after sleeping with him.

It’s part of the biological make-up of a woman and a man. It’s the way things are “wired.”

So you want to know how to “re-wire” things?

First of all, stop hoping that the fact that you’ve had sex will magically win him over into being an open and loving partner like you are.

Then read the section in Chapter 8 of my eBook called “Triggering A Deeper Level Of Attraction In A Man”:

Download eBook

What you need to know is there. In it, I reveal another kind of ATTRACTION that goes deeper than just the everyday PHYSICAL ATTRACTION a man can feel for you: EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION.

When a man feels ATTRACTION for you in this way, then he will become EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED to you on a deeper level than he ever could simply through his physical desire for you.

You know a man has intense physical desires. That’s easy.

But have you taken the time to learn how the deeper, more “relationship-oriented” feelings and emotions are created inside him?

The feelings that make a man want to be with one woman in a committed relationship are different than what makes A WOMAN open to exploring a relationship.

Ever Thought About What A Man Really Wants In A Woman?

I’m talking about mature, healthy men here. Not “man-boys” or “players”, who have a totally different agenda altogether.

Men want someone they feel deeply ATTRACTED to.

They want to have that feeling of WANTING a woman.

They want to worship her, to please her, to ravish her, and to sweep her off her feet with their physical and emotional presence. And for the woman to be utterly and completely taken with them and what they do.

So, what happens when men act like they’re not interested in anything serious or don’t want a relationship or their too busy to have one… or any other of a list of lame excuses they give you?

This happens because most women don’t create the experience that will make a man FEEL this way.

Plain and simple.

A man is looking for that “WOW!” experience with a woman. And when he doesn’t feel it, there’s nothing a woman who doesn’t make him FEEL this way can do or say to make him want something more with her.

He just loses interest and moves on.

But keep reading, because I’m going to show you how to create that unforgettable experience for him…

His Drive To Be Challenged… And Win

The other thing to know is that men have something that I call the “Pursuit Gene.”

There’s a drive in men that makes them want to be CHALLENGED… and to overcome that challenge. I know it sounds cliche, but it’s true.

Men want to be challenged by the idea of meeting, attracting, and pursuing a woman. And then they want to win the woman over and feel stronger as a man for having done it.

Men will meet this challenge in one of two ways:

  1. They’ll find fulfillment from the feeling of “freedom” and emptiness by physically being with a woman in the short-term (sex)
  2. They find connection and love by physically AND emotionally being with the woman in a deeper and “longer-term” way (relationship)

Here’s the AMAZING part…

A woman helps him choose which it will be with her.

Interesting…

The Point Is, Men LOVE The Chase

It’s part of their genetic make-up.

But if a woman loses control emotionally, seeks HIS APPROVAL, or thinks she can trade sex to receive love before a man is experiencing an intense desire to WIN HER OVER and to be with her, then something else happens.

The man loses that feeling of excitement and challenge with her. He recognizes that the woman has already given over physical and emotional CONTROL to him. Which destroys the strongest “lead-in” to creating lasting love with a man.

What is that “lead-in”?

ATTRACTION.

Men want to feel ATTRACTION.

They don’t want a woman to try to convince them that what they’re experiencing and feeling should be meaningful and loving. No. That’s not how men work.

Instead, they want to FEEL their desire for a woman inside their whole body, emotionally driving them, and for it to be undeniable and unrelenting.

Get where I’m going here?

Don’t Deny Him The Thrill Of The Chase

So if you don’t allow a man to FEEL that desire, to feel like he can’t stop thinking about you and wanting you BEFORE you sleep with him, it won’t create a situation where he’s going to want anything more than a fleeting sexual experience.

There is a way to get a man FEELING it for you.

There are specific behaviors and attitudes that make a woman literally IRRESISTIBLE to a man, so that he will feel that strong desire to be with you before, during and the all-important AFTER getting physically intimate with him.

And he will not only be “open” to talking about something deeper and more meaningful with you, he’ll INSIST on it.

How To Make Him Want You And Only You

I’ve put together an entire program about what it is that makes a man fall madly for you because he just can’t stop thinking about you and wanting you.

This program is Natural & Lasting Attraction. In it, I explain exactly what a woman can do and say to push all the “right buttons” to create Emotional Attraction.

I also reveal little-known secrets such as:

  • How to spot and identify an immature man QUICKLY so you never again waste your time on someone who doesn’t deserve you
  • The 5 things about a woman that a man is genetically programmed to be attracted to… and how to quickly let a man know you possess ALL these qualities
  • The mysterious “missing ingredient” that makes a man interested in MUCH MORE than just a short fling or affair

And tons more…

I explain it all right here (and you can watch right now):

Natural & Lasting Attraction

I don’t ever want you to feel insecure and uncertain when you sleep with a man. Watch Natural & Lasting Attraction now and find out what it takes to be the woman he can’t wait to be physically AND emotionally close with… again and again.





Day 97 Broken Heart

26 11 2012

First crock pot meal of my life and my son even ate it so I guess it was okay. It was good to come home and smell a house that smelled like something besides dog and kid sweat. Do you get to call it a cooked meal if you put it in a crock pot?My daughters middle name should be grace. She fell off a skateboard today and twisted her ankle and while walking to the mailbox caught her bare toe on the concrete and ripped off a layer of skin and I couldn’t get it to stop bleeding. So we glued it. It’s an old Rugby trick but worked.

Speaking of Rugby this weekend is my debut. Well actually its my farewell tour on my terms. I can’t wait and I don’t play as much as the ole days but I will make my presence felt then cry all day Sunday how bad I hurt!!!

I wonder at what age your heart doesn’t break anymore? For those that know me I m half girl. I wear my feelings on my sleeve and I can’t seem not to but its okay because I’m in touch with my masculine side and my female side. I want to so bad rip this person apart here in my blog but I won’t I’m trying so hard to do the thing God would ask us.

People do matter and no matter how thick skinned someone is you can always find someones weak point. I wish I could be the kind of person to say FU and I don’t give a s%$t but I always do. Last night as I was  going to bed I found out that I meant nothing to this person and I walked around today with a heavy heart. I know the saying what goes around comes around but I don’t wish anything bad on this person. I wish they could see what they are doing to me. I honestly think they are oblivious and that’s okay with them I guess.

I know its my fault I feel like my heart is broken I m the one reacting to it but at some point and time we have to look at ourselves and stop the pain. Pain on pain never works. If you’re a christian I know your heart heals but is it better than before? What God gave us is supposed to be the best and nothing can be better well I m still gluing all the pieces together. I pray that I don’t break someones heart again but if I do I m truly sorry.

I will take a learning lesson from this and maybe this is what I deserve because of my past but I promise I will bust my ass to never hurt someone again just to make myself feel better.

 

 

 

 





Day 96 No regrets

25 11 2012

What a whirlwind of a holiday.Had a great time with my family and yesterday trying to be uncle and dad of the year I took my kids, my nephew and my sister’s boyfriends daughter all by myself to Toys-R-US. The kids are 4-6-8-10. Yes it may have been a wrong calculated move but we made it out alive Not sure about the store but we are good.

A few surprises took place this past four days and truly they were great. I ‘ll blog about those later but thank you. I also got my ass chewed out again by a blog reader who can’t seem to get that if you don’t like what I write then don’t read. That’s a beautiful thing in this country that we can make those choices.

I follow about 20 people on Facebook and some of them post some amazing things.Today one of the best I have read in a long time I m re-posting.This came from my friend Sheila Tucker who posted the blog by Life Coach Carla Ferrer in Dallas.

The quote from the unknown author is something I will swear to never live by again. 15, 19, and 26 are my life missions right now

Some of these I’ve learned easily, some not so easily… but what I can state without doubt is that no matter what — you can make of your life whatever you desire!

 

“The saddest summary of life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” ~ Unknown

 

We all have something stored in our memory banks of the past that we wish we could have done differently, or something we wish we didn’t do.

As we get older we learn and grow. But that doesn’t mean we have to regret what we did before we learned how to do things differently. If we didn’t go through those experiences we might not have grown into the strong and knowledgeable people we are today.   So what I’m proposing is that we get rid of the negative thoughts—the could have’s, might have’s, and should have’s—and start living a life that won’t make us feel regretful. Not even at an older, wiser age.

Here is a list of 40 things you can do to practice living life with no regrets:

 

1.   Realize that it’s okay to make mistakes. Just make sure to learn from your past mistakes, forgive yourself and move on.

2.   Make your health and wellness a top priority and always take care of yourself so you’re ready to take care of others.

3.   Follow your own path—not one that others want you to follow.

4.   Find the humor in life and laugh like there is no tomorrow.

5.   Relax and move with the flow of life by being unafraid of change

6.   Be adventurous by trying new things and taking more risks.

7.   Have more intellectual curiosity and embrace creativity.

8.   Try to find happiness with as many different people as you can.

9.   Think for yourself instead of letting other people’s opinions influence you too much.

10. Try not to judge people before you get to know them.

11. Be thankful for what you have now instead of thinking about what you don’t have.

12. Wish well upon everyone equally and try to admire without envy.

13. Share your happiness with others instead of hoarding it all for yourself.

14. Don’t try to change someone—love who they are now.

15. Enjoy the journey, not just the destination.

16. Know that happiness is bigger than any bank account.

17.Control negative thoughts so that they don’t contribute to the outcome of your life.

18. Use your energy wisely because spending energy complaining, worrying or being impatient is just wasted energy.

19. Be bold. Find the courage to change things that should be changed and accept that there are some things that cannot be changed.

20. Love your work. If you don’t currently love what you do, figure out what you would love, and take the first step toward that life.

21. Turn your discontent into a mystery and enjoy trying to solve it.

22. Face problems from different angles in order to find solutions.

23. Gain independence by realizing that on this earth we are all dependent upon each other.

24. Change your perspective by taking on a wider view of things.

25. Don’t waste time trying to bring disagreeable people around to liking you.

26. Become the person you would like to spend the rest of your life with.

27. Be honest with yourself and others by saying what you mean and meaning what you say.

28. Treat people with respect and compassion.

29. Live in the now by loving the present and being aware of your thoughts and actions. Think happy thoughts and speak powerful words.

30. Try not to put things off until later.

31. Never hold grudges.

32. Face your fears head on and try to do the things that you think you cannot do.

33. Spend time with people who make you happy while also not depending on other people for your own happiness.

34. Stand up for yourself and others and don’t let anyone or anything hold you back.

35. Be yourself and love who you are now.

36. Be a participant in life rather than an observer.

37. Do the things that you love to do as much as you can.

38. Write out a list of goals and achieve them by doing them step by step. Don’t give up when things get difficult.

39. Do something every day that makes you feel proud of yourself—commit random acts of kindness whenever you get the chance.

40. And always keep on moving forward.

 

I know it seems like a rather large list of things to take on, but you can accomplish a lot on this list by doing just one thing. For example, right now as I’m typing this I’m putting into practice at least ⅔ of this list.

Indeed, from my heart to yours, believe me when I say, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by putting these things into practice and seeing where life takes you, without regrets.

 

With much love and light to each and all… God Bless!





Day 92 WYD

21 11 2012

The title is an inside joke and only a few people will get but I will tell you if you ask. I m really immature but its okay.

Here is where gratitude and thanks start for all of us. “Learn to dance in the rain” BJ Gallagher

Patrick Henry Hughes was born with no eyes and a tightening of the joints, which left him crippled for life. However, as a child,he was fitted with artificial eyes and placed in a wheelchair. Before his first birthday, he discovered the piano. His mom said, I could hit any note on the piano, and with one or two tries he would get it. By his second birthday, he was playing requests (You are my sunshine, Twinkle, Winkle Little Star. His father was ecstatic. “We might not play baseball, but we can play music together.

Today Patrick is a junior at he University of Louisville. His father attends classes with him and he;s made nearly all A’s, with the exception of 3 B’s. He’s also part of the 214 member marching band. You read it right…the marching band. He’s a blind, wheelchair bound trumpet player; and he and his father do it together. They attend all of the band practices and half-time performances in front of thousands. His father rolls and rotates his son around the field to cheers of Patrick’s Fans. In order to attend Patrick’s classes and every band practice his father works the graveyard shift at UPS. Patrick says “my dad’s my hero.”

but even more than his unbelievable attitude musical talent, it was Patrick’s attitude of gratitude that touch my soul. Onstage between songs, he talked to the audience about his life and about how blessed he was. He said, ” God made me blind and unable to walk. BIG DEAL! He gave me the ability…the musical gifts I have… the great opportunity to meet new people.

When the performance was over, Patrick and his father were on stage together. The crowd rose to their feet and cheered for over 5 minutes. It gave me Goose Bumps! My life was ready to meet Patrick Henry Hughes. I need a hero, and I found one for the ages. If I live to be a hundred, I’ll never forget that night, that smile, that music, but most importantly, that wonderful “attitude of gratitude.”I returned to Chicago and shared Patrick’s story with my wife, my friends, Two weeks later, I received a letter from a friend He said, I don’t know who said it, but I think you’ll love the quote. ” Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass.. it’s about learning to dance in the rain!”

We all face adversity in our life. However, it’s not the adversity, but how you we react to it that will determine the joy and happiness, in our lives. During tough times, do we spend too much time feeling sorry for ourselves, or can we, with gratitude…learn how to dance in the rain.

“When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present..we experience heaven on earth.” Sarah Breathnack





Day 91 Commitment Fulfilled

20 11 2012

Thank you for all the comments on my last blog. Its funny what causes people to read and respond. Had a great two days. Most of my friends are gone away with family so it’s a tad bit lonely but I m so glad that you peeps got away.

The amount of stress and unhappiness this time of year is amazing. If it’s in traffic or just being friendly to one another. I m not sure besides money or mother-in-laws that people are so upset about. Take it one day at  a time people tomorrow may not come.

When the words I want a divorce were spoken my counselor Brian begged me not to get in a relationship or have sex for 6 months. He said that with the pain I would be going through all another relationship or sex would do  is cause more pain for myself and others. Fixing  pain with pain never works. You also never get to see the true colors of another person when you in the midst of your own hell.

I can say today which is the 6th month mark that I did it. I actually have gone overboard with the sex I am on day 459 without sex and I have not been in a relationship. I can say that with sex I have come very close twice but I said a prayer and the prayer came true.I can say that I m so proud of myself because I had filled the voids of life with sex in the past.

I have been able to talk to women and actually care about them and what they have to say rather than looking at them (crude way of saying a piece of ass) and see who they are. Some I know aren’t right for me and some we will see. I can have a conversation, I can talk about my past with no lies and no judgement on myself. The six months for me helped me also see where I fall short and grounded me enough to be able to know what I still have to work on. I got to see what really matters and if cloths are laying on the floor the world isn’t going to end.

I know that a woman is going to be lucky to have me,that we will work together and love together. That life will throw grenades but we will can get in the hole together and get out together. It allowed me to see that I can and will be married again.

This doesn’t mean the flood gates open and I date everyone but now I m ready.  I want to thank Brian Hackney for who you are and what you mean to me. Jim McBride who has supported me and asked me every time I met a lady he prayed and asked did you have sex. Thank you for being accountable. There are two other people I want to thank but they asked me not to mention their names but you know who you are and thank you for respecting what I m trying to do.

Men we can speak to a lady and not have sex on our mind. We can value a women for who she is not just her butt and boobs. Its refreshing and if this broken, sexual weirdo can do it you can too.

pass this on!!!!








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