Day 43 Honesty Yeah Right?

2 10 2012

I’m so sports sad today. My beloved Cowboys played like they were on vacation already and my Rangers lost and only have to win one game to win the division but I think they are going to get swept.

Honesty it’s one of the hardest things to be and hardest things for us to understand. Everyone likes honesty until u start talking about yourself or God forbid them. If your talking about someone u can get the amen and the shaking if the head yes. I hated honesty and now I m learning to respect it. When u find out things about yourself its hard to swallow but when others find out those things about u it’s almost impossible to accept. The only way for me to heal is to accept my mistakes, hurts and fears. That doesn’t mean I have handled it well but I wake up everyday asking for the power to shut my mouth. Some days good and some not so much. Fear causes us not to believe what we need to hear, same with rejection, and guilt.
with me u will always know where u stand good or bad. It’s fine until the bad comes along but I think I owe u that.
My counselor Brian said because of your honesty your going to get hurt more than when u lied. He said 95% of the world says they want the truth until they hear it. I found out the hard way the past two days. I told two different women why I couldn’t date them. They were my issues and there’s. I got literally verbally pummeled. I made the point that wouldn’t u rather me be honest now rather than 3-6 months down the road. The answer was an overwhelming no. They began to berate me, how dare u, etc. I know I m doing the right thing sure I could lead them on have sex with them, drop them and I honestly think they would be okay with that. I rejected them and was honest so I m a dick.
I am okay with being an honest dick that u can trust rather than another dick walking the earth leaving a trail of tears behind. I appreciate the encouragement I got today. helping us realize a fear. I needed it.

The book I ve been reading about judgement has helped me a lot and also let me know how far I fall. Proverbs  says foolish lips invite punishment.  Getting control of our words in one the key ways to change our world.. . A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back. Proverbs 29:11. I struggle with hold my feelings back. Sometimes  what  is the truth is not the fool it is just someone telling the truth.  I had pain today because I told my feelings and things I thought that needed to be heard.

One of the isms about me I make a statement and because yo don’t my dry humor, or my heart  you take it as mean. If you know me you know thats the farthest from the truth. Usually I m trying to make someone laugh. What I do have to do is learn that most people don’t get me or my intimidating personally if I m not smiling.. I ve seen the look in the eyes of those people or how their voice changes. Once its done though no apology will fix what I have said and I have to take the responsibility for that.. When we are judged or scrutinized we often fail to accept the responsibility  for how our words evoke opinions and judgements of others.. We think they should have known we didn’t mean that. We are actually asking them to judge us with that thought; we just want tot he judgement to come out in our favor. However people can’t read our minds. Matthew 12:37 Jesus said ” For by our words we are justified and by our words condemned. As someone wisely said make your words sweet and soft. You may have to eat the. By this time in my life I m very full.

Love ya all, Pass this along.

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2 responses

3 10 2012
Lisa

As a teenager my moter always told me the backlash from a lie is far worse than it is from the truth and even worse when they find out you were lying in the first place (I wasn’t so sure), I mean if they never found out I was lying then it was gravy and I had no reprocussions, right? Well having been through a very hard divorce, not because of fighting for custody or money but because of the lying and cheating I can honestly tell you that I now believe that lying is a waste of time. I fought for over 3 years for my marriage begging him to just be honest and if he wanted to be with someone else, then just tell me and he spent those 3 years telling me I was crazy and that they were just friends, only to have picture after picture, emails and text messages to show me it was all a lie. In the end I can look back now and say if he had only been honest with me in the beginning it would have been so much easier for me and for our children. Yes, it still would have devastated me and yes I would have been hurt but I would not have felt like he destroyed me and I do not believe that I would have been pushed to the level of despair that I felt during that time. I say all of that to tell you Tyler that no matter what the backlash is from these women, you are doing the right thing. When the right person comes along she will be able to accept all of your faults even the ones you think are horrible from your past and she will be able to love you for who you are because she will know that what she gets when she is with you……is the real and complete you and although you may not fully be at the point where you believe it yet, you are an awesome guy and this journey that you are on will make you the greatest father and one day the greatest husband you could ever be….Never give up who you are and what you believe in just to make someone happy or to have them in your life……I am proud of you, keep keepin on and always hold your head up and you can use my moniker anytime “keepnitreal”….((HUGS))

14 02 2014
mandi0240

I have always found that I accept the truth better than a lie. My ex husband cheated on me with atleast 50 different women before and during our marriage. It was the hardest thing to accept and at that point in my life I loved him so much that I didn’t care. I think the honesty of it all at first floored me and hurt like I had been kicked in the stomach. I think as time passed I learned to accept the truth and realized as much as it hurt to know and hear of the infidelity, I would always rather hear the truth than a lie. With the truth I can take it..accept it and make my own decision on how to handle it. With a lie you determine how I am going to re-act. I hope that makes enough sense to you as it does me. I’m by far saying what my ex did was right but I am thankful that I accept the truth better than I ever would have. I try to be truthful in everything I do, no matter how I think that person will take it. It has back lashed on me a few times but I’d rather be upfront about my feelings then to pretend that they don’t exist just to safice that person. Thanks tyler for your words. I enjoy your blog and learning more about you and you make me look at myself and think about things that I tend not to. Your a blessing

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