Day 71 Holloween

31 10 2012

A great evening for the kids. We racked up on the candy and dad saw to many scantily clad women. My 4-year-old son said the women’s boobs are showing. Thank Gosh it got dark.

I actually went to my Amy (my exes) home and we made the most of our first holiday to spend together. It went well except for all the people coming up and saying they were sorry and couldn’t believe what happened. Heard a lot that we were brave to be together. I said really its okay anything for our kids. The best thing about Holloween is that tomorrow starts the true holiday season. I love the holidays and yes all the other stuff that comes with it. I know I’m  not spelling Halloween correct there is a reason.

My email was hacked today and besides the fact that a message went out saying that I was in the Philippines and I got arrested every email I had is gone. I m not sure how that happened but I have a password now that only God himself could figure out. Please don’t test me though.

Because I m tired I wanted to leave you with 10 things to talk about tomorrow from yahoo10 Things for Thursday

Your daily look at late-breaking news, upcoming events and stories that will be talked about on Thursday:


Limited subway service will resume Thursday morning, but not in lower Manhattan where the power remains out, officials say.


Superstorm Sandy turned the cherished area into a hazardous wasteland of badly eroded shore, ruined beachfront homes, flooded streets and damaged utilities.


The White House canceled its Halloween tradition because of Sandy and donated the goodies to the organizations that would have participated.


Hillary Clinton says the White House is suggesting people and groups to play key roles in the rebel leadership.


An Associated Press-GfK poll found that more voters trust Romney to break the stalemate in Washington.


Many hail the announcement as a step toward a peaceful transition of power, but the Taliban denounces it as meaningless and vows to keep on fighting.


An Air Force Academy ritual of freshmen throwing upperclassmen into the snow results in a fight with 27 cadets injured.


Two suspected smugglers who got their jeep stuck on the top of the barrier flee from authorities after they tried use ramps to enter the U.S. from Mexico.


Carl Icahn reveals he used some of his $14 billion fortune to get a 10 percent stake in the DVD rental giant, causing its stock price to soar 14 percent.


Tens of thousands of fans don the team’s holiday-appropriate orange and black colors to congratulate the World Series champs in a parade.

Day 70 Life rules

30 10 2012

A much better day today. My car was actually there when I woke up.

I got to sit in a new Starbucks and work for about three hours today catching up on paperwork and people watching. Starbucks is an amazing place not only for the coffee but the eclectic group of folks that come in there. I always hear conversations that I know nothing about so I learn a lot. I was asked today if one of my chairs could be borrowed to use as a sitting apparatus. I just said whatever dude. I guess I need to be a bit more sophisticated and use the words apparatus more.

We went tot he fall festival at Gateway church tonight. There were roughly about 3000 people. It’s great to watch all the little kids get so excited over candy and cotton candy. I can’t eat cotton candy its sticky. Long story for another time. I got really offended tonight and usually I don’t get offend by much. I let my kids have cotton and when we were walking away two ladies said out loud he shouldn’t be letting them have cotton candy so late but he is  a single dad. So I told them that we were poor and that’s all I could afford (it was free)and walked away. I know I should have let it go but if I would have said what I wanted to I would have made them cry.

I wrote over a period of time my life rules. I never finished them but here they are and my last one:

1. You will receive only this body

2. You will be presented with lessons

3.There are no mistakes only lessons

4. A lesson is repeated until learned

5. Learning will never end

6. There is nothing better than the here

7. Others are only mirrors of us

8. What our life becomes is only up to us

Finally  Number 9:You will remember and you will forget

Each lesson in our lives is like a rock along our path. As we travel along and learn lesson some look and feel familiar. When something resonates in  for you or yo finally get one of the lessons you are remembering what you originally knew. When you have an “aha” moment you are remembering. When we remember and forget with are dancing with our consciousness. remembering is waking up to the truth Forgetting is the temporary amnesia that sets in when your truth is occluded. When we feels tuck, when we cannot break through we have forgotten.

I believe all of my rules come down to this one basic point remember the truth. . We have to find ways, either by faith, wisdom, time, to go to a deeper level so we can always remember the truth.I have heard ignorance is bliss, We have to forget that and live with life’s luster. It’s the only way to have an amazing and meaningful life.

Faith: Faith is the gift of the spirit that allows the soul to remain attached to its own unfolding. Thomas Moore

If you have faith you will remember the truth stored deep in all of us. Faith is the only thing that can help us through the darkness. We may stumble but every time we come out of the darkness where we should be. Without faith there is no joy. I lost the joy but with faith I was ale to experience a true me and what was truly in my soul.. Faith sometimes has to be restored by surrounding yourself with people who will speak the truth and see things in you that we stopped seeing. When we forget keep those people close to remind you of who you are and where you came from.

Wisdom: We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us : Marcel Post

Limitlessness: What we call results are beginnings : Ralph Waldo Emerson

I know this is deep but remember this: God did not put a limit  to our compassion, patience, willingness, commitment, tolerance or any other pocket of understanding. We have infinite permission to love, grow and to remember.



Day 69 Okay some Mondays do suck

29 10 2012

I really try to make Monday’s a good day. Woke up this morning and my daughter went outside to walk the dog and said dad your car is gone. I have a rental because my truck is getting worked on (this is the 8th day). I thought maybe she hadn’t woke up but I called 911 and told them someone stole my car which I was informed I was towed. Okay good Monday morning feelings over. I was the only care towed that day because I didn’t have a parking sticker. I pointed out to management of the apartment complex 4 cars that never move without stickers.It just happened to be unlucky day. So to my shock and a tad bit of anger it cost me $198 to get my rental car out of tow. Well Monday continued and besides not getting anything accomplished I went to get my truck it wasn’t finished and I had to get another rental car. Monday is over and tomorrow will be better. Today is why I have no hair left.Finally when I went to put my kids to bed my dog peed all over my daughter’s bed. So with that I will blog something good tomorrow, but this is actually good. i truly hope you laugh. Good night

Day 68 Rising from the ashes

28 10 2012

I hope you all had a great weekend. I had an amazing weekend.  I m also a dumb butt because I talked politics and racism at a bar with people who were drunk. I know not smart lesson learned. I enjoyed people watching all the people at the bar in costumes To say that some people should never show their body in public is an understatement. I saw things that Hollywood wouldn’t put on screen but at least they had fun.

I have heard and now I understand” If you want God to laugh tell him your plans.” I m a planner by nature and always get bent out of shape when my plans go crazy. I m learning but this weekend was another test with my plans. Alright duly noted.

Rising from the ashes is this man I write a lot about the bad but it is all from the past. Not that their aren’t a lot of trials in my life but I want to give you  a contrast from 1 year ago to today. Out of the past 4 years some many wonderful things had transpired. Here on the left is the past and the right is the good in red. Look at it like this. If you drop a piece of glass all you want to do is sweep it up and throw it away. God takes the time to pick up every piece glue it back together and it never looked better.

Now you don’t have a purpose I have a purpose and a mighty one.
You don’t let anybody in           I let those in that want me.
You don’t understand why she don’t love you I understand why I didn’t love myself
But you don’t understand yourself Closer than I have ever been. I know I m worthy
Now you’re out there with no target Target is closer than ever
So you friends become your aim I stopped blaming others
But there is no one left around you I have true friends that love me
So there is no one left to blame Always was true

And what you don’t know it wont hurt you I never let people know my pain and hurt no I open up
And what you don’t know will save you from some pain I learned it only made it worse
But if I could choose I’d let it hurt you
Cause there’s something bout life in the pain I wanted others to feel my pain now I want to help them with theirs.

Now there’s something inside you starting It the truth
Like there’s a fight coming your way I used to wait for the fight now I turn away
But there will be no fists you’ll be throwing
Just some words you’ve got to say I hurt others with my words now I try to speak out of love
And you’ll scream for our repentance I believe God hears me when i request repentance. I thought God forgot about me
Or you’ll hide behind what’s fake My whole life was fake now its a matter of honesty and what you don’t want to know
But there aint nothing to forgiveness Forgiveness is all that matters
You give as freely as you take I try to give. I struggle to receive

And I don’t need to know your stories I want to here your stories. I m finally compassionate
Don’t need to understand your pain I want to understand your pain. I feel it somewhat
Cause I’ve been here since the beginning
And I’ll be here the rest of the way
And I’ll be here the rest of the way I promise I will be there for you
Now you’ve tried your hand at running I stopped running I stand firm
Why don’t you try your hand at faith? Faith and God is all I have
Because there’s a moment to be taken
But it is right before you break I thought I was broken and couldn’t get put back together. What a lie I told myself

Day 66 The power of Confidence

26 10 2012

I have my kids and I m going to spend the night with them, but I wanted to get this point across  You either faith/confidence or you have nothing. I had a fake confidence that drug me down and with just a mustard seed of faith/confidence slowly I m getting my life back.

re blog   by:

You either faith/confidence or you have nothing

Everyone who has learned the power of confidence will tell you that if you really change the way you think and obtain a completely optimistic outlook, it will give you power you never knew was possible. Does that seem hard to believe? Read about people who accomplished great things like Henry Ford, Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Sam Walton (the founder of Walmart), W. Clement Stone (became fabulously wealthy by selling insurance) and many others, and you will see that they accomplished great things because they had something about them that seemed like powerful magic. They had confidence.

Portrait of Henry Ford (ca. 1919)Portrait of Henry Ford (ca. 1919) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

W. Clement Stone went from extreme poverty as a child, to incredible wealth. He is famous for saying “Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” He began selling insurance at a very young age and because of his incredible confidence, he quickly became rich. He decided he could make even more money by hiring people to help him sell insurance. As time went by, he found he could size a person up after talking to them for only a few minutes and determine if they would be successful at selling. He knew confidence was key.

Henry Ford accomplished things that most people said were impossible. Before the United States entered World War 2, the US government knew they must start preparing for war. They gave Henry Ford the task of designing a plant to build airplanes– heavy bombers. Many people looked around the world and said that at most we could build one bomber a day because each bomber was made of about one and a quarter million parts. Henry Ford designed a plant that could build one bomber every 55 minutes! Hitler didn’t think it was possible. This prodigious output of airplanes helped the allies win the war.

Sam Walton said “It is amazing what people can accomplish if they believe in themselves.”
William James, the Father of American Psychology said “The most important thing that determines success is whether or not you believe you can do it.”

Confidence, belief, power of positive thinking…. Jesus called it faith. He said if you have a little faith you can tell a mountain to move and it will.–Nothing will be impossible for you. Matthew 17:20 “Mountain” may have meant “problem,” just like we use it today in the phrase “don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. Reblogged from from my earlier post.


Day 65 Buying Virginity

25 10 2012

So I turned on the radio and the top story was buying a 20 year old’s virginity. The story is here Virgin auction earns Brazilian co-ed nearly $800,000.

Im not sure anyone cares to read anymore after the first headline. Men just know that we are responsible for how our daughters turn out. We have one chance with our daughters to show them how worthy they are. Get off your ass so your daughter doesn’t sell her self on the internet.

I couldn’t believe that a women ( Catarina Migliorini) would  sell herself on the internet first of all and be humiliated. Can you imagine the guys that bid on this women. She is gorgeous and financially is set for life. I think that’s the good part. She brought in 788,000. So does now whoring yourself out ruin the fact that your a virgin? The winner of the virgin auction is a man only known as Natsu, a bidder from Japan, who will join Migliorini on a plane that takes flight between Australia and the United States, obviously to get around any prostitution laws. Imagine that?

This is where we are with sex. Do something amazing and keep your virginity and then I need money so I m selling myself. Catarina, however, says that her intentions are noble and she plans to use 90% of the money for charity. According to the New York Daily News, Migliorini will help build homes for an impoverished area in her home of Brazil, thanks to the VirginsWanted website auction. Days like today I hate that I have to raise a daughter. Its so hard and you can tell all of the mistakes but at any age $788,000 and I m sre people will say if I m going to lose my virginity its better to do it this was than some 15 year old greasy faced kid. I swear God’s coming back soon today he threw up in his mouth more than normal.

Well on to more stuff. Yoga is amazing. When I started P90X I started with Yoga. It made all the difference in my life from flexibility and athlete prowess. If you have never tried it its hard but so rewarding. Give it shot. I can touch places on my body that I never could before. All of you  thinking in a bad way should stop lol.


Love ya, Pass this along.

Day 64 The Reason For The Warrior

24 10 2012

So should a blogger like myself blog more or less? I m asking do you enjoy reading each day or would you like to see it less? Please let me know!

The men’s group and other things involving men I keep hearing about us being warriors. I wanted to share a blog from John Eldredge who (wrote the book Fathered by God which helped change my life.) he talks about men being warriors. I promise men if we will stop making excuses and stand up for what matters we can changed the world. Most importantly we can change the outcome of our families and children.

I heard today talking to a pastor and he said this: One of the most powerful statements that I have heard from a pastor I was talking to today. Pain that is not transparent will become transmitted. Men you may hide for a long time but the pain that becomes transmitted will slowly kill you and everything around u.

Our God is a Warrior because there are certain things in life worth fighting for, must be fought for. He makes man a Warrior in his own image, because he intends for man to join him in that battle.

One day the young man Moses, prince of Egypt, went out to see for himself the oppression of his kinsmen. When he witnessed firsthand an Egyptian taskmaster beating a Hebrew slave, he couldn’t bear it, and killed the man. A rash act, for which he becomes a fugitive, but you see something of the Warrior emerging in him. Years later, God sends him back to set all his people free, and, I might add, it is one intense fight to win that freedom. David also fights, battle after battle, to win the freedom of his people and unite the tribes of Israel. Something in the man compelled him, that same something that wouldn’t allow Lincoln to simply sit by and watch the Union tear itself apart, wouldn’t permit Churchill-despite the views of many of his own countrymen-to sit by and let the Nazis take over Europe unopposed. For he knew that in the end they would have England, too.

There are certain things worth fighting for. A marriage, for example, or the institution of marriage as a whole. Children, whether they are yours or not. Friendships will have to be fought for, as you’ve discovered by now, and churches, too, which seem bent on destroying themselves if they are not first destroyed by the enemy who hates them. Many people feel that earth itself is worth fighting for. Doctors fight for the lives of their patients, and teachers for the hearts and futures of their students. Take anything good, true, or beautiful upon this earth and ask yourself, “Can this be protected without a fight?”

(Fathered by God )

Day 63 Hard to Save a life

23 10 2012

Six years ago June I did one of the things I am the most proud of in my life. I saved a life. I had been on the national Bone Marrow registry since 1997 and then I get a call. That someone in the US I was a match with and they needed my bone marrow or stem cells. I was all game except I was worried that I may screw them up and they would never be the same. After a great in-depth physical I was cleared and I started the process. While I was doing my part this amazing women in California was having all her cells killed off to be able to accept my cells. They actually give u chance to stop the process but there is a greater than 90% chance the other person dies. I remember the final day when they took my marrow/cells there was a person just waiting so they could immediately fly to California and deliver my marrow and cells. I didn’t know if she lived until 4 months and at 6 months. Well after 1 year I got to meet her. She is amazing and I m so proud of her for the fight she took on. 6 years later and a little lactose intolerant  (my fault). She is kicking butt in life. My friend Penny Neder is running in the Be the One  Run in California. Please support her by donating at this link Be the One Run

I also ask if you have never join please go there and sign up. It costs you nothing and you can save a life.

I had a really amazing day. I drove to Cisco Texas to meet with a wonderful lady named Karen who used to do our PR for my remodeling company. She introduced me to the Economic Development team there and they have some great things going on for the business I m working with now.  I also am going to get my book published. I wanted to write and get  published for about 10 years and now the dream will become reality.  Thank you Karen and to others for their support. I will have 300 copies at the beginning so you better buy one lol. This book is not about making money it’s about 1 person reading it and 1 life changing. AS you have read this blog I have been through hell and back and I tried to go there again. Only with God’s help am I here and I want to show that. She believes it will sale I’m so excited.

Also ate the best Mexican food ever. If your ever on 20 going West stop in Downtown Cisco and eat at La Finca Mexican. Try their French Fries they are great. The mexican food was great too.


Day 62 A Sparkle in our eyes

22 10 2012

Hello from beautiful Southlake Texas. We are back on for our new relationship class and I m looking forward to the lesson. We learned about kindness and actually doing something about it last time. I wonder why we all have such great ideas and never carry them through.

My truck decides this weekend that it needed some TLC the AC compressor went out, my ball joints and bushings are out and my passenger side window decided that it wasn’t going to roll down. So thank gosh for warranties. I know it’s cooler but when you have to roll the windows up to make a phone call I know what  a foot in a sock feels like now.

A sparkle in your eye do you remember that? I m not sure if it only comes with being youthful but I miss it. Saturday night at the bar I was being my usual flirty self and this beautiful lady comes to the bar and she has that sparkle in her eye. Yes I’m drawn to it. Okay yes she’s beautiful but there is something about that sparkle that you see that we are all drawn to. She was upbeat, funny, and just had a great demeanor. We are all drawn to it and sometimes I can’t put my finger on it. The only thing I know is that it seems to go away with age. I m not sure if it’s because we are all jaded to the world because of problems, family, money, relationships, fear or we just know or see too much.

I do see it in adults who are living out their passion in life but those are so few and far between. I know that she was 24 but from talking to her she had already had some of “THOSE”. Where did our sparkle go? Homecoming this past Friday was a perfect example. I saw people I hadn’t seen in years and it looked like time had taken the sparkle away.  Once it leaves does it go away? I m not looking for a generic answer, or if we turn to God. We know that being with God, becoming a christian is going to be hard. We know that there are going to be trails and crap is going to be hard is that why. Does life drag the sparkle out of us. I used to have the sparkle. I m not sure people are drawn to me at all anymore! I know people say you look better but  I never hear them say the sparkle is back in your eye.

I bounced this thought off of Jim today and he said that I should find her and ask her what causes her to have the sparkle and see if it is just youth.
I want my sparkle back I want people to be drawn to me and see me in the light. I want to see more people like that.

I went to see Here comes the Boom Here comes the Boom Movie Trailer        last night with Kevin James and Selma Hyack and besides Saturday with the young lady it was in the movie as well. He’s a teacher that has lost his passion in his job and in life. AS he tries to raise the money to save a teacher’s job and encourage his students he finds a purpose and passion. You actually see in the movies he has a sparkle in his eye. Yes it has a Hollywood ending but a great message that when you have a purpose maybe we do regain our sparkle.


Love ya pass this along

Day 61 Buck up

22 10 2012

Had an amazing weekend. It started Friday with one of the best football games I have ever seen. I went back for my high school homecoming and got to see a bunch of people who it had been years since I had seen. I also watched my high school being down by 18 points at halftime and to score in the final seconds to win 61-59. The resolve and belief in a high school kid is great.

Saturday I got tot do a little morning training, and got to see my kids at my daughters soccer game. She did amazing. She is one heck of a player. If I could get her to be a little more mean then she would be the complete package. I spent the majority with my Rugby buddies and had  few drinks. It was great to talk stories and laugh about some inappropriate things as well. Also met a great group of ladies that I got to entertain with my stupid jokes. It was great to get a different perspective on life as well from them.

My family spent the majority of today celebrating my mom’s 70th birthday. I got to get my kids which was great and they got to celebrate with my mom, sister, her boyfriend and my nephew. Through my divorce my family has become closer and I missed it for so long. I m going to see an evening movie and get back to the grind tomorrow.

The term buck up means quit being a wuss, weenie, and some other choice words. I got called out by my buddy Jim yesterday and I needed it. See when a friend that has put into  your life and knows you gives you advice or a kick in the ass listen to it. for the first time I didn’t get mad I needed to hear what he said. Buck up, get off your ass, stop feeling sorry for yourself. I have truly been feeling sorry for myself the past two weeks. There are stages in divorce like in death. You better make sure you don’t try to skip a step because if you do you fail. I m  man and I think I can shove pain or hurt under a rug and it will go away. I had some legitimate excuses but excuses are like aholes we all have them. I want to be on of the 2% right now I m one of the 98%. I have to buck up and that I will. I need accountability and I will get if I ask.

I read a lot from this website called the Art of Manliness. A lot of the articles are from the greatest generation. It the men who fought in WW2 and Vietnam. This article is about Getting Tough with Your Self. Getting Tough with Yourself

Heard a great message at Cross timbers Church this morning about faith. Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Faith does hard things in life ‘s victories, Faith endures even in life’s disappointments. The worst is never the worst.

I know we all struggle with Faith. When we can see it we believe it. I can’t remember the last time though that when I worried about something it got better, but I still do it. God’s right!

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