Day 34 Passing the Obstacles Test

23 09 2012

Hope everyone had or is having an amazing Sunday. After breaking my , fibula, tibia, and dislocated ankle in march I went back and played Rugby yesterday after only 6 months. Honestly I know it probably wasn’t the smartest thing thing in the world. I enjoy Rugby so much its a way for me to get my anger, frustration out in a sort of nonviolent manner. I enjoy the physical punishment that comes with it and what I get to dish out. I m very sore today and my ankle is sore but not swollen. After playing Rugby for 15 years its hard to just let go. I doing this for me and my happiness. I know I can get hurt again, I know I m getting older but its my life and if you find something that makes you happy stick with it. I have no idea if I m going to play anymore but I had to prove to myself that I could recover.

I went and visited a new church with my niece this morning called Elevate Life. Really neat church. Our area is blessed with many great churches that aren’t the traditional churches that scare people away. The pastor made a statement that floored. Out of 100% Christians that say they are Christians only 9.1% of those go to church. Really how in God’s name do you learn or get the support do you need. I used to be part of that 91% that did didn’t go to church and boy that worked out well for me. I used to say that I didn’t need to go to some building to know God and that is so correct. I do need to go and be with others who are at least trying to get closer to God.

The message the morning was passing the test of obstacles. : Big Thought: Every obstacle you face is a test for you to pass so you can grow to your next level. You will never get the best, without the test.  I know some of you are saying well I should have the best of everything I ve passed so many test. I have said that so many times. Did you really pass the test or look at someones else s paper. What I mean by this is that the voices we hear are what controls us. The voices, are God, Satan, our own, or someone elese’s. I mean your dad said you wouldn’t amount to anything, an ex said you were ugly, control, a failure etc.. Those things echo over and over in your ear. I know I said things to my ex that I never meant I just couldn’t handle my own pain so I said what I felt about myself so I could bring her to my level. I will say that there are things she said to me that right now if I hear them I revert back in my thought process.  I never  knew if my ex liked the way I looked.Now if someone says your very handsome. I kinda of give an half ass thank you and feel sick at my stomach that they would tell me that. I don’t feel that but it doesn’t matter what someone else’s think of us unless we feel that way. I want to not feel like a failure and I m going etc.. but I don’t YET. I m slowly getting over those things. I can choose to listen to the tapes in my head and live a miserable life or get closet to God and here what he thinks about me and then guess what I will see myself that way and also be able to accept what others say to me in a positive way.

I know people right now that try to buy, drink, medicate or move away from their problems. The one thing that never changes is that Wherever you go there you are. You can’t run from you. Catch yourself and fix your crap. It can be done. They say people don’t change. I know now personally that’s the biggest line of crap ever. If this sorry broken ma can change you can too, but you have to stop the tapes in your head. Hell press pause for a second and yes stop and smell the roses.

Booker T Washington Said this and it is so true: A person’s success should be measure, not so much by the position he has reached as by the obstacles which he has overcome.






One response

23 09 2012

I got over 18 obstacles just yesterday.

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