Day 20 A good cry anyone

10 09 2012
where to start: The birthday party yesterday was great. It was weird because i think everyone else was uncomfortable but I was very content. My son had a great time and got a lot of presents.  I ate birthday cake which is my food weakness. I m trying to be good but I broke down. We went to the UNT football game which was awesome and we won. I really like the new outfits  that women where now the boots and either skirts or shorts. Not sure when it started but it helped make the boring parts of the game  easier to bear.
My mom and nephew  came up to celebrate my son’s birthday today and went to church with me. Great message at church which I will get into shortly. After church I got my kids from m ex and we went had an awesome pizza at Mellow Mushroom and then went to my place to open presents and eat cake. We had a great time and put my son’s race track together and played. Then my ex came to get them.
My son cried and kicked and screamed that he didn’t want to go . I was so pissed at her at what she had done to our family. I told her what I thought about it to. I made up my mind that everything  I still had at her house I wanted and that she couldn’t ever come back to my place. It was to hard. We will just meet somewhere from this point forward. I went out to get my stuff I have to get away from her and only have to deal with her when its necessary. Lets just say it didn’t go well. I m getting my stuff next Sunday. I left crying and wondered why after the person I ve become why she can still say shit to me that cuts me to the core. Thanks Jim for answering my call and listening.
 
If you don’t know I m a Christian and have been since I was 7. until about 10 months ago I was a crappy christian. I m not a bible beater by any means. I just know that I tried being a fake Christian for so many years and my life sucked. I knew what to say and if you challenged my I could answer all your questions. What I was doing behind the scenes what ridiculous and I was also one of those condemning Christians. It mad me feel better about the crap I was doing. I heard a message today at church that helped me realize I m going down the right path. If your a non-christian just listen because I would here your side. You don’t have to agree just keep an open mind you never know when the truth  will set you free.
I never had heard our church so quiet today. It was really eery . Real life changes begin with Jesus. I knew that but I never changed until I started living that way. Jesus is the ONLY one that can lead us to our destination he is the only one the makes the inside whole again. He is the only one that can restore, heal and redeem. Please listen to me on this I was a piece of shit honestly. The things I said, the thoughts i had . I know I m being hard on myself but I really needed a change. I threw away my best friend and said things to  my ex that you wouldn’t say to road kill. If Jesus can heal this man he can heal and make whole anyone. Now I m a work in progress but the key word there is progress. I never allowed that. I didn’t want to live this life anymore. My whole life had crumbled around me and I still tried to fix it my way. Jesus can make the impossible possible. He did that. I wanted to die and hoped for it everyday he opened my eyes to the greatness in life. The people reading this the people that I judged and the ones that threw me to the curb. The biggest thing that he did is I no longer am defined by my failures. I thought I was the biggest failure ever. ( Shitty, son, friend, business owner, dad, christian, husband, athlete I was embarrassed to walk into a church) I know now failure is not who I am but with it I learn and grow.
The final question at church today was What am I willing to do to get people in front of Christ. I started today if anyone wants to get out of the crap you can do it. Mondays are actually good in my life now. Love you all!
Advertisements

Actions

Information

One response

10 09 2012
Day 20 A good cry anyone « My New Life

[…] Day 20 A good cry anyone. Share this:TwitterFacebookPinterestLike this:LikeBe the first to like this. […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




iksperimentalist

a collision of science and comedy

Surviving the affair....the cheaters perspective

I cheated. Yip I did it, I am not proud of it, but that won't change a thing. This is my story of me trying to survive one day at a time. No guarantees....

Sound of Silence

There is a better place than this silence

The Time Lock

photos by amsang

simple Ula

I want to be rich. Rich in love, rich in health, rich in laughter, rich in adventure and rich in knowledge. You?

%d bloggers like this: