Day 17 Go Cowboys

7 09 2012

Well if you don’t know I m a giant Cowboys fan. I feel something good about them this year. It was surprising they won in NY but I ll take it. With all the life changes I m not living and breathing it anymore but it was a good stress release last night.

My kids are back with their mom and it breaks my heart every time I drop them off. I miss them so much and one and two phone calls a day just doesn’t cut it. This weekend my son turns 4. We have the first big family function. I know that everybody is dreading but I m not. I have nothing to hang my head about. I just hope everyone remembers that this is for my son and not anyone else. My son is so excited about being 4. I wonder what the magic number is that we wish we would stop getting older.  He’s so excited about his birthday but the presents are what he’s most concerned with.

I have really been practicing what I m preaching about lessons learned and smiling even when you don’t want to is paying off. 2 people mentioned today that do you know you smile all the time. I laughed and said I do know but if you only knew. It take practice but its working. Went to a great meeting tonight one of the things that stuck out to me was the someday.  My parents always said someday we will go fishing there or travel to Europe etc.. I found myself doing the same thing in my marriage. Some day we will have this house, or some day we will go on this vacation. That someday never came. I finding a group of people to hold me accountable to this day. My life will change and I won’t live anymore saying someday I will do this or that. Hop on board its going to be a great ride.

Today I had two people tell me I should write a book. That I was a great writer. Well if you speak to Mrs. Fort my English teacher in high school she would speak differently about that. I really enjoy doing this. It truly helps me and I still believe it helps others.  The circumstances for writing this suck but the outcome is really good.

Loneliness is a killer. We all have to learn t0do it. When my kids are gone I light a candle and turn off all the lights and embrace my loneliness, I pray, I answer myself but mostly I think about how I can correct my wrongs. The world we live in is so fast paced.  Stop and listen to yourself. It will scare you but there is a  lot of good you can get out of it.

If you have something you want me to talk about let me know. I have my first international blog follower who asked I speak about Horses and Cows since I m from Texas. I hate that stereotype. So I told him we ride horses and eat cows and I would think of more to say about that later.






2 responses

7 09 2012
Day 17 Go Cowboys « My new life

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7 09 2012
Tucker Communications

I think that you hit the nail on the head when you wrote about smiling. The truth that a smile hides many feelings is very true. If only people new what was really going on, I doubt they would ever talk to us again. I commend you for the steps your taking to become the man God intended you to be. You may not understand the whole big picture but you are headed in the right direction. There are 8 days until the training. Will you be able to go?
Thanks for being real.

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