Day 665 But what about what I do have

23 11 2014

My babies are back which means were busy. I baked my first two pies yesterday for extended family thanksgiving and a Rock Bottom event today. I was impressed and so was everyone per what was said. Two points for me. I love this time of year because either forced or not we get together  with our family and friends and laugh and share memories. We had one of our quarterly rallies with Rock Bottom Outreach. It’s so great to get together and hear how people rise from the ashes. Life is about overcoming and I’m surrounded by so many people who have done just that.

For many years it was about me, I was entitled, greedy, selfish, and downright rude when I needed or wanted something. needed is always a loose term because what we need is so is so less compared to what is really needed. I never told anyone how many things I had but all the things I didn’t. Even when I got one of the needed items I still complained and just added something else to my list.It was always stuff to. I’m damn sure wasn’t the important things that mattered. About 9 months ago in a talk with Rick Smith he mentioned something in a talk we had that you have to learn to be thankful for what got you here. I kind of ignored it at the time but the more I thought about it. I never gave thanks for the bad things or what really mattered. It was I was taking credit for God’s work and not giving thanks. When I speak or just having a conversation I try to let people know how I got here but how thankful I am for the struggle and the people in my life. Its one of the hardest things to understand but here I go.

I have the best mom and sister in the world. My kids I think you know how much they mean to me. I also have the 6  best people in my life beside my family. I used to have yes people and people who wouldn’t tell me the truth or what I needed to really here. The 6 folks love me more than I know and will also set me straight when I need it. I have my health, I have a few things wrong  but lucky to be where I am at. My job. There are things about my job I don’t like because it’s a job. I can pay my bills and live a little. When I got divorced in 2012 I had lost so much I thought: I had lost my marriage,  house, full-time custody of my kids, Theses “friends” my dignity, who I was, Then in a matter of two years every one of those thongs Im thankful I lost. I’m actually thankful for my divorce. I would have never become the man I am today. People look at me so weird when I say that. Sure I would love to be married but we were miserable and at that time we  were never going to change for each other. I know moving forward some woman will get a great man and I could have never said that before. I appreciate my apartment. My home is coming but I didn’t appreciate my home. I thought it should be something I was supposed to have. My finances were all about spending, not saving or giving and that has happened. I appreciate my children so much. I don’t love them for how they perform I love them because they are here and mine. I love people I don’t know, I want to help them and I see their pain and want to help them. I used to just blow them off, or just be disgusted by them. No matter how many times I said I didn’t care I always did care what people thought. Now I want you to like me but if you don’t that’s on you. If I do something wrong you wont have time to get mad at me because I will make it right. If you choose to not like me it’s on you. It’s the best feeling because I go to bed every night with no enemies I created. I would have never have let you see me all the dirty and lonely places. I hated them and I didn’t want you to know them either. Now I bear my soul so maybe just maybe somebody will change their life. Finally I’m thankful I fell away from God. I played “church” better than most. i always knew what to say and said really good prayers. Then I would go live exactly the opposite of everything I prayed or said. Sure I still struggle at times, but I know how to be real and come to Jesus with my real stuff. It’s easy to be thankful. We always choose not to be and we complain. I should have this and get what I asked. Be thankful for the easy things but be thankful for the stuff that has formed you. Your still here and your life isn’t nearly bad as you think. If you think so just wait it can be worse. Just be thankful. Listen to what someone says about where you were and where you’re at now. Be proud of the struggle because your pretty darn amazing just like me.





10 things more attractive than the booty pic that cracked the internet

19 11 2014

tywood12:

Great outlook

Originally posted on The Isaiah 53:5 Project:

image

An awful lot of fuss has been made lately about a celebrity booty pic that supposedly broke the internet.

I haven’t seen it, have no desire to see it, won’t see it, and won’t, although I have an opinion, comment on it.

What I will do however, is give you ten things that are always more attractive than any booty pic.

1. A woman in cowboy boots

As the self-appointed spokesman for American men, there is something awesome about boots on a woman.

Christmas is coming up ladies, if you don’t own a pair of boots, put them on your list.

2. A woman at a game, play, award ceremony, etc. for one of their kids that does not have a phone in her hand.

Unless you are obviously taking pictures, put the phone away, you can waste your time on Facebook later.

There is nothing more unattractive than a…

View original 408 more words





Day 660 This realization hit me like a brick today

18 11 2014

If you have friends that are single during the holidays reach out to them. This is a tough season on anybody but single people get alienated in society this time of year. I promise just do it please its needed.

Got a an email yesterday about a guy in my men’s group. Brad was trying to make a fire in his home – at some point poured gasoline on a smoldering log, and it flashed, catching him on fire.  He ran outside and pulled his shirt off, dropped and rolled, then ran back inside to put fire out in-house.  He is in Parkland with 2nd and 3rd degree burns from waste up. (His face didn’t look too bad in pic, mostly side of face and ears I think. I went to see him and I hate hospitals, nothing good happens there but I needed to go to let him know he was loved and not by himself. They were doing a skin peel when I got there which is something I hope to never see again. I talked to his wife and her mind was everywhere, she was handling so much and doing an amazing job. I just kind of watched him  sleep and said a few prayers. He eventually woke up and  he was doing rather well considering what he had gone through. He made a few points to his wife about things that needed to be done which she had already done them and then listed off a few more she already taken care of. Then my being uncomfortable and seeing someone I cared about being burned up got to me and I left. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

If something happened to me I’m alone and I have nobody to take care of me. Sure people would come by and do things but I’m talking about caring for my every need until I can again. I’m a stubborn ahole so I would try my best to not let people help me but there comes a time and place where somebody has to help. I watched my mom take care of my dads every need and I mean every need and want. She lived her vows like God asked us to so I’ve seen it and know what it’s about. I had a long walk to my  car and I thought i have never thought about it but I’m alone and I would just be sitting in a room waiting for a nurse to take care of me. The realization made me so sad. I wasn’t afraid of it but its something that you don’t want to think about, but could happen. I know there’s nothing I can do about it, well I guess I could but you know what I mean. I know that I was in love once and would have done anything for her. I hope this time I find someone who would do that for me because I would for them. Just knowing if it’s now or when were 80 to know that one person would do anything for you no matter what the circumstance stance is a very peaceful feeling. If you have that someone be thankful, it’s always easy to find all their faults but when you need them to live the vows there may not be anything more rewarding in life.





Day 660 This realization hit me like a brick today

17 11 2014

If you have friends that are single during the holidays reach out to them. This is a tough season on anybody but single people get alienated in society this time of year. I promise just do it please its needed.

Got a an email yesterday about a guy in my men’s group. Brad was trying to make a fire in his home – at some point poured gasoline on a smoldering log, and it flashed, catching him on fire.  He ran outside and pulled his shirt off, dropped and rolled, then ran back inside to put fire out in-house.  He is in Parkland with 2nd and 3rd degree burns from waste up. (His face didn’t look too bad in pic, mostly side of face and ears I think. I went to see him and I hate hospitals, nothing good happens there but I needed to go to let him know he was loved and not by himself. They were doing a skin peel when I got there which is something I hope to never see again. I talked to his wife and her mind was everywhere, she was handling so much and doing an amazing job. I just kind of watched him  sleep and said a few prayers. He eventually woke up and  he was doing rather well considering what he had gone through. He made a few points to his wife about things that needed to be done which she had already done them and then listed off a few more she already taken care of. Then my being uncomfortable and seeing someone I cared about being burned up got to me and I left. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

If something happened to me I’m alone and I have nobody to take care of me. Sure people would come by and do things but I’m talking about caring for my every need until I can again. I’m a stubborn ahole so I would try my best to not let people help me but there comes a time and place where somebody has to help. I watched my mom take care of my dads every need and I mean every need and want. She lived her vows like God asked us to so I’ve seen it and know what it’s about. I had a long walk to my  car and I thought i have never thought about it but I’m alone and I would just be sitting in a room waiting for a nurse to take care of me. The realization made me so sad. I wasn’t afraid of it but its something that you don’t want to think about, but could happen. I know there’s nothing I can do about it, well I guess I could but you know what I mean. I know that I was in love once and would have done anything for her. I hope this time I find someone who would do that for me because I would for them. Just knowing if it’s now or when were 80 to know that one person would do anything for you no matter what the circumstance stance is a very peaceful feeling. If you have that someone be thankful, it’s always easy to find all their faults but when you need them to live the vows there may not be anything more rewarding in life.





Day 657 Footprints washed from my mind

14 11 2014

Another week with my babies is done. It’s a tough thing to drop them off but man do I love my every minute with them. They are so full of life and they teach me so much. They still have a lot of innocence which I lost many years ago and with the that I learn from them. Just like my daughter said this morning  we may not get breakfast here again so we should appreciate it right daddy? Absolutely!

If you have never been to the beach I think everyone should go just to walk the shoreline with bare feet. It’s an amazing feeling but one of the few times we get to see our footprint. I think I spend about a minute looking behind me noticing my footprint and then watching it get washed away. As I walk the shoreline I continue to make footprints though but no matter what they get washed away every time. If I look back they are gone but still in my mind and if I look forward I see the new ones I’m making by putting one foot in front of the other. Last night I did the second part of my radio show and I thought about all the footprints I had made in my past. I have a hard time remembering the good ones but they bad ones stick. I almost cried twice during the show just thing about those moments. People think they know because of my blog and sure you get about 15% of me.What you don’t know is the emotion that came with those moments. The emotions are what shaped me and dammit they hurt. I left a lot of footprints that maybe only 2 people know them all and that’s probably safe for most but with that when the show ended last night I was truly happy. I’m leaving some really cool footprints now and some people have told me the things I say and do don’t leave them. I thought they all get washed away but I learning otherwise. I’m so thankful that life is able to be re-created and it was done through the bad things that I’m learning to be thankful for. I know this my daughter put her head on my shoulder last night driving home from the show and said dad I’m really proud of you, you’re doing good things. The footprints I left before would have never got my daughter to say that. When you walk the beach next time and you see your footprints wash away remember that it’s not what you see in your past that matters but what you left people to see tomorrow.





Day 654 This guy really disgusted me

11 11 2014

Thank you Veterans. These words are not enough but I try when I see a veteran to thank them in person. Just the fact I can write this blog without persecution is just one of the many of 1000’s I can do because of you. If you have never seen Band of Brothers and what the men of the 100 1st Airborne please Watch it, Its amazing.

You meet people in your life that change you eventually. It may not matter when they came into your life but they were there for a lesson, a reminder, or just to show you how not to be. Going back  to my college days. I had some rough friends. They had good to them for sure but the side that was most shown was their nasty, angry or just down right disgusting side. Usually Thursday night in college is the night most go out because most skip on Friday or just decide that their getting ready for a great weekend early. This group of guys mostly my Rugby buddies would start drinking and having shenanigans around 9:00 by 11:00 we were all drunk and having the most fun, starting fights, or just telling stories and singing rugby songs that everyone wanted to hear. This one guy (remains anonymous) was always the center of attention, he had a commanding presence, people followed him, he told the jokes nobody would tell, he just didn’t give a crap what people thought about him. I always watched him no matter what he did, I liked him sometimes but I was stuck with him in the group so I just dealt with him. He was a jerk, depressed, a liar, disgusting, and he treated women like crap and I always thought when I saw him : if people knew him nobody would laugh at him, or listen to him. What a joke of a man. I would watch him, take women of all kinds by the hand after some words, like your so beautiful, if you had a real man like me I wold love you, give you everything, I would tell you how great you are and tell you all the things you’ve never been told and walk them to the men’s  bathroom of our Rugby bar. I knew what he did because I would go to the bathroom and listen to what he told them and them instruct them to get naked then he would have his way with them. He would buy them a beer when he was done with them. Sometimes kiss them and seriously go to the next one. Sometimes he did this three times a night. One night I stopped him when he was sitting on the curb trying not to throw up and asked him. What in the hell are you doing? Why are you doing this to these women. He looked at me and said I just want someone to love me, I want to know I’m enough, I want to be like the good-looking guys, so I feel that way for about 3 minutes and then I have to deal with what a piece of shit  I am. I patted him on the leg and said okay man. I felt so pitiful for him, I wanted to help him but had no idea what to do or say to him. So I just sat and watched him destroy himself and so many women around him and was disgusted with the man I saw everyday. Why do I tell you this today. That man was me. Thats how I lived my college days. I know its in the past thank God, I hated me and was disgusted with who I was. That is why today I tell my story so maybe just one young man will have his eyes opened and save himself and so many women from the pain and scars that I brought upon so many. Good thing I’m forgiven and I know this and I have done my best to make amends with those I effected. I stand as  a broken man of God hoping you pass this along to someone who needs to hear it and know that we can all rise from the ashes. I’m living proof.





Day 654 This guy really disgusted me

11 11 2014

Thank you Veterans. These words are not enough but I try when I see a veteran to thank them in person. Just the fact I can write this blog without persecution is just one of the many of 1000′s I can do because of you. If you have never seen Band of Brothers and what the men of the 100 1st Airborne please Watch it, Its amazing.

You meet people in your life that change you eventually. It may not matter when they came into your life but they were there for a lesson, a reminder, or just to show you how not to be. Going back  to my college days. I had some rough friends. They had good to them for sure but the side that was most shown was their nasty, angry or just down right disgusting side. Usually Thursday night in college is the night most go out because most skip on Friday or just decide that their getting ready for a great weekend early. This group of guys mostly my Rugby buddies would start drinking and having shenanigans around 9:00 by 11:00 we were all drunk and having the most fun, starting fights, or just telling stories and singing rugby songs that everyone wanted to hear. This one guy (remains anonymous) was always the center of attention, he had a commanding presence, people followed him, he told the jokes nobody would tell, he just didn’t give a crap what people thought about him. I always watched him no matter what he did, I liked him sometimes but I was stuck with him in the group so I just dealt with him. He was a jerk, depressed, a liar, disgusting, and he treated women like crap and I always thought when I saw him : if people knew him nobody would laugh at him, or listen to him. What a joke of a man. I would watch him, take women of all kinds by the hand after some words, like your so beautiful, if you had a real man like me I wold love you, give you everything, I would tell you how great you are and tell you all the things you’ve never been told and walk them to the men’s  bathroom of our Rugby bar. I knew what he did because I would go to the bathroom and listen to what he told them and them instruct them to get naked then he would have his way with them. He would buy them a beer when he was done with them. Sometimes kiss them and seriously go to the next one. Sometimes he did this three times a night. One night I stopped him when he was sitting on the curb trying not to throw up and asked him. What in the hell are you doing? Why are you doing this to these women. He looked at me and said I just want someone to love me, I want to know I’m enough, I want to be like the good-looking guys, so I feel that way for about 3 minutes and then I have to deal with what a piece of shit  I am. I patted him on the leg and said okay man. I felt so pitiful for him, I wanted to help him but had no idea what to do or say to him. So I just sat and watched him destroy himself and so many women around him and was disgusted with the man I saw everyday. Why do I tell you this today. That man was me. Thats how I lived my college days. I know its in the past thank God, I hated me and was disgusted with who I was. That is why today I tell my story so maybe just one young man will have his eyes opened and save himself and so many women from the pain and scars that I brought upon so many. Good thing I’m forgiven and I know this and I have done my best to make amends with those I effected. I stand as  a broken man of God hoping you pass this along to someone who needs to hear it and know that we can all rise from the ashes. I’m living proof.








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