My babies are back which means were busy. I baked my first two pies yesterday for extended family thanksgiving and a Rock Bottom event today. I was impressed and so was everyone per what was said. Two points for me. I love this time of year because either forced or not we get together with our family and friends and laugh and share memories. We had one of our quarterly rallies with Rock Bottom Outreach. It’s so great to get together and hear how people rise from the ashes. Life is about overcoming and I’m surrounded by so many people who have done just that.
For many years it was about me, I was entitled, greedy, selfish, and downright rude when I needed or wanted something. needed is always a loose term because what we need is so is so less compared to what is really needed. I never told anyone how many things I had but all the things I didn’t. Even when I got one of the needed items I still complained and just added something else to my list.It was always stuff to. I’m damn sure wasn’t the important things that mattered. About 9 months ago in a talk with Rick Smith he mentioned something in a talk we had that you have to learn to be thankful for what got you here. I kind of ignored it at the time but the more I thought about it. I never gave thanks for the bad things or what really mattered. It was I was taking credit for God’s work and not giving thanks. When I speak or just having a conversation I try to let people know how I got here but how thankful I am for the struggle and the people in my life. Its one of the hardest things to understand but here I go.
I have the best mom and sister in the world. My kids I think you know how much they mean to me. I also have the 6 best people in my life beside my family. I used to have yes people and people who wouldn’t tell me the truth or what I needed to really here. The 6 folks love me more than I know and will also set me straight when I need it. I have my health, I have a few things wrong but lucky to be where I am at. My job. There are things about my job I don’t like because it’s a job. I can pay my bills and live a little. When I got divorced in 2012 I had lost so much I thought: I had lost my marriage, house, full-time custody of my kids, Theses “friends” my dignity, who I was, Then in a matter of two years every one of those thongs Im thankful I lost. I’m actually thankful for my divorce. I would have never become the man I am today. People look at me so weird when I say that. Sure I would love to be married but we were miserable and at that time we were never going to change for each other. I know moving forward some woman will get a great man and I could have never said that before. I appreciate my apartment. My home is coming but I didn’t appreciate my home. I thought it should be something I was supposed to have. My finances were all about spending, not saving or giving and that has happened. I appreciate my children so much. I don’t love them for how they perform I love them because they are here and mine. I love people I don’t know, I want to help them and I see their pain and want to help them. I used to just blow them off, or just be disgusted by them. No matter how many times I said I didn’t care I always did care what people thought. Now I want you to like me but if you don’t that’s on you. If I do something wrong you wont have time to get mad at me because I will make it right. If you choose to not like me it’s on you. It’s the best feeling because I go to bed every night with no enemies I created. I would have never have let you see me all the dirty and lonely places. I hated them and I didn’t want you to know them either. Now I bear my soul so maybe just maybe somebody will change their life. Finally I’m thankful I fell away from God. I played “church” better than most. i always knew what to say and said really good prayers. Then I would go live exactly the opposite of everything I prayed or said. Sure I still struggle at times, but I know how to be real and come to Jesus with my real stuff. It’s easy to be thankful. We always choose not to be and we complain. I should have this and get what I asked. Be thankful for the easy things but be thankful for the stuff that has formed you. Your still here and your life isn’t nearly bad as you think. If you think so just wait it can be worse. Just be thankful. Listen to what someone says about where you were and where you’re at now. Be proud of the struggle because your pretty darn amazing just like me.